I Am Alex's Inability to Concentrate
11/18/08 07:27 PM Filed in: Indiscriminate
I have an Old Testament
exam I should be studying for. You can’t blame me too
much for not studying right now. I’m in class right
now learning about Binary Search Trees and balancing
an AVL Tree. The classroom is too warm, and the
weather outside is too cold. Somewhere trapped
between the two extremes is my inability to think
straight and the cause of my obnoxious sweating. Like
most rooms at Cedarville, this one is filled with
distractions. There’s the huge windows which allow me
to look down toward the Milner and Tyler buildings.
There’s that comfy and hideous couch in the corner
which no one ever sits in and everyone wonders why
it’s even in the room. There’s my notebook paper,
which can easily be shredded into a million pieces
throughout the course of a class period; it’s amazing
how many ways you can rip a small piece of paper.
Then, of course, there’s my laptop, which is an
infinite source of distraction. Although it’s not
necessarily all these distractions that are the
source of my inability to focus. They just feed it
when it’s hungry.
I am Alex’s inability to concentrate. Merely a child of his ADD mind and obsessive compulsive characteristics. I’m the reason he counts his steps. I’m the reason he over thinks every situation. I’m the reason he studies minute details that nobody else notices. I’m the reason he walks in syncopation with the music on his headphones. And in a contrasting sort of way, I’m the reason he can’t concentrate on nothing and fall asleep at night.
I make him run potential conversations over in his head, taking every possibly path the conversation might take, traversing every possible scenario even past the point of literal and ethical standards. And I’m also the reason he forgets all the scenarios when finally presented with the aforementioned conversation. I scatter his thoughts and make him forget the sentences he had so carefully constructed.
I’m the reason he taps his foot, shakes his arm, or twitches his hand when most people sit still. I’m the cause of his intermittent thought patterns. I’m the cause of his dazing off, staring at nothing for minutes on end. And I extend far beyond his academic life.
I probably make him feel crazy most of the time, but that’s my job. I’m just doing what I’m meant to do.
I am Alex’s inability to concentrate. Merely a child of his ADD mind and obsessive compulsive characteristics. I’m the reason he counts his steps. I’m the reason he over thinks every situation. I’m the reason he studies minute details that nobody else notices. I’m the reason he walks in syncopation with the music on his headphones. And in a contrasting sort of way, I’m the reason he can’t concentrate on nothing and fall asleep at night.
I make him run potential conversations over in his head, taking every possibly path the conversation might take, traversing every possible scenario even past the point of literal and ethical standards. And I’m also the reason he forgets all the scenarios when finally presented with the aforementioned conversation. I scatter his thoughts and make him forget the sentences he had so carefully constructed.
I’m the reason he taps his foot, shakes his arm, or twitches his hand when most people sit still. I’m the cause of his intermittent thought patterns. I’m the cause of his dazing off, staring at nothing for minutes on end. And I extend far beyond his academic life.
I probably make him feel crazy most of the time, but that’s my job. I’m just doing what I’m meant to do.