Laundry Room Etiquette

"Is this smart? Or am I being an idiot?"

This question, among many others, appears impossible for Freshman males to ask themselves. Granted, I am a Freshman, and a male at that, but I'm one of the few who at least partially grasps the concept of being polite.

It's simply ridiculous to walk into a laundry room on campus and see the mounds of clothes strewn about the floor. My sheer frustration with the laundry room has led me to point out so simple etiquette rules that, quite honestly, aren't that hard to follow, guys! But somehow, people still manage to get into silent screaming matches with each other, throwing other's clothes on the floor to "spite" them.

So, let's begin:

Washing Machine Etiquette
  • If a washing cycle has not completed, do not remove the clothes from the washer. Of course, by "completed" I mean the washer is completely done, not just almost done. Allow me to be a little more clear; if the washer still says "1 minute" or "2 minutes," this does not constitute as "close enough" and give you permission to pull the wet clothes out and throw them on the floor!
  • If the washing cycle completes and there are other people in the laundry room, before pulling the clothes out and throwing them on the floor to collect the dirt back on them that they just washed got off, open your mouth and ask, "Does this washer belong to anyone?" That way, someone else can claim the clothes and empty the washer for you.
  • If no one is in the laundry room, or no one claims the washer as their own, do them the simple courtesy of moving the wet clothes to an open dryer. Obviously, you would like it someone saved you this step, so why not do it for them?
  • If there are no open dryers for you to move a load of wet laundry into, put them in a basket. Throwing them on the floor completely contradicts the point of a laundry room.
  • If by some chance you forget your own detergent, it's not entirely ethical to use someone else's that they left in the laundry room for safekeeping. If there are other people in the laundry room, chances are you could ask and someone would be more than willing to let you use theirs.

Dryer Etiquette
  • If a drying cycle has not complete, do not remove the clothes from the dryer. Of course, by "completed" I mean the dryer is completely done, not just almost done. Allow me to be a little more clear; if the dryer still says "1 minute" or "2 minutes," this does not constitute as "close enough" and give you permission to pull the still wet clothes out and throw them on the floor!
  • If a drying cycle completes and there are other people in the laundry room, before pulling the clothes out and throwing them on the floor to collect the dirt back on them that they just got washed off, open your mouth and ask, "does this dryer belong to anyone?" That way, someone else can claim the clothes and empty the dryer for you.
  • If you move someone else's clothes from a washer to a dryer, start the dryer
  • If you move someone else's clothes from a washer to a dryer, put one of your own dryer sheets in with it.
  • If there are no open dryers to which to move a load of someone else's wet laundry into, but there is a dryer that has completed it's cycle, unload this dryer and use it.
  • Before purloining any open dryers, make sure those dryers are not already claimed by another in the laundry room. Washers and dryers both are on a first-come-first-serve basis, so if someone has been sitting, doing homework in the laundry room for the last 42 minutes, waiting for a dryer to finish, you're a complete jerk if you dash into the laundry room, grab your clothes from your washer, and shove them into that very dryer before the rightful owner of it can. Don't be that guy!
  • When unloading a dryer of someone else's clothes, don't show them the same respect you would show your own (because we all know how guys treat their clothes), show them the respect a girl might show their clothes. This means do not pull the clothes out of the dryer and throw them on the floor! Find an empty laundry basket to put the clothes in.
  • If you cannot find an empty laundry basket in which to put someone else's clothes from a dryer, place the clothes on top of something else, like a washing machine. (NOT the garbage cans, guys.)
  • Never, on any circumstances, should you put someone else's clothes from a dryer that you want into a basket full of other clothes! Mixing clothes that do not belong to the same person is just stupid and irresponsible.
  • If by some chance you forget your own dryer sheets, it's not entirely ethical to use someone else's that they left in the laundry room for safekeeping. If there are other people in the laundry room, chances are you could ask and someone would be more than willing to let you use theirs.
  • Additionally, if you are taking clothes back to your own room, make sure you use your own laundry basket, or a laundry basket marked "Laundry Room." If the laundry basket has a name written on it, or even looks like a nice, unmarked laundry basket (unlike the one's provided by the laundry room) that someone actually purchased, do not take it back to your room with you! We understand, of course, that you mean to bring it back to the laundry room; no, you would never steal it. But we all also know that you'll forget to take it back for about a week, and you're causing the true owner of the basket large amounts of undue grief.

Honestly, guys, it's no wonder girls say we're incompetent as males.