Cedarville
Your Right to Common Courtesy
03/30/09 05:23 PM Filed in: Indiscriminate
This post is most
pointedly directed towards the residents of Brock
Hall, but it really applies to anyone. Also, please
understand the heavy sarcasm in the title. You do
not have a
right to
common courtesy. Certain people are gracious to you
and you should be thankful. That doesn’t mean you sit
around expecting people to bring you free food
because you look like you’re hungry.
I was headed over to chat with Kylee, and Dave was on his way over to the SSC. We left the third floor of Brock, heading down the stairs. We got to the main double doors and pushed them open. As I pushed through the first set, I saw two fellow Brockians approaching the building. I had a crucial “yellow-light” decision. Should I stand for a few moments and hold the door for them, or are they far enough away that I should just let the door close and make them unlock it for themselves? They were far enough away that I decided to just keep walking, as did Dave.
As we were a few paces out of the building, we crossed paths with the other gentleman. There were two of them, one of them I know by name (but that’s about all), but both shall remain nameless out of respect. The one I knew sarcastically tossed over his shoulder, “Hey, thanks for holding the door for us, guys.” So, not to be outdone, I sarcastically tossed back, “Hey, you’re welcome!” with a big smile and a wave. Apparently taken aback, and not wanting to lose the last words, the other shouted in a far more desperate tone, “Yah! Thanks for holding it!” Nice comeback. I commend you.
To the first of you: you are extremely pompous.
To the second: you sounded like a desperate five year old who was failing miserably at winning at argument.
This isn’t the first time, nor even the second, that this has happened. I’ve had people sarcastically “burn” me for not holding the door open for them numerous times while leaving Brock, some harsher than others. It’s as if they expect that I owe them something. Look, I don’t want to be rude, but at the same time, with the attitude you’re giving me, why the heck do you think you deserve to have the door held open for you?
A few weeks back I was leaving Brock and a similar situation happened. I walked through both double doors and the student walking towards me moved in front of me to stop me and said, “Really, man? It would take you two extra seconds to stand and hold the door so I wouldn’t have to get my ID out!” To which I replied, “Really, man? It would take you the same two seconds while you’re still walking to get your own ID out.” And I walked around him and on to class.
First of all, logically, if you’re coming back to Brock, you’re probably done with class. You’re most likely not in a hurry. If we’re leaving Brock, it’s more likely we’re actually purposefully headed somewhere, perhaps somewhere we don’t want to be late to. Sure, it’s only two seconds, but it’s the principle of the matter: we’re headed somewhere to participate in an activity, you’re headed back to your dorm to be “off the clock.”
I was sitting in the lounge on the opposite end of Brock once when I heard someone pounding on the doors. Someone had forgotten their ID. There’s a lounge on that side, so me and all my friends assumed someone over there would get the door. Well, no one did. The pounding continued. Finally, someone on that end of the building let the guys in. I say guys because it wasn’t just one guy, it was five. Five guys who either didn’t remember to take their ID with them when they left the building or just didn’t want to reach into their pockets to get it out because they were too lazy. (That last statement actually isn’t too far from the truth. There are guys that do that.) They came to our end of the building, leaning through the doors into the lounge we were all sitting in, and yelled, “Hey, thanks for coming and opening the door for us, guys!” I shouted back, “Hey, thanks for remembering to take your ID with you.”
The thing is, you have every right to not take your ID with you, and you can bank on the fact that someone will open the door for you. But you can’t get upset when someone doesn’t open the door for you. Understand that when we’re sitting in the lounge and we open that door for you, you go upstairs and forget about the whole situation. If we’re sitting in the lounge and everyone does the same thing you do and expects us to open the door for them, we wouldn’t get any work done. That’s why Cedarville gave you an ID, so you could serve yourself.
Next time I’m walking out of Brock and someone tries to slight me with, “Hey, thanks for holding the door for me,” I’ll respond with, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were a woman at a conservative Baptist college.” You know. The types where women just stand at the doors and wait for a guy to come hold the door for them. Because it’s not that they’re special and we want to show them we appreciate them, it’s that they deserve to have the door held for them.
Holding the door for you is a favor, not a requirement. Grow up. Honestly, we live in Brock. We’re already pegged with the stereotype of being arrogant idiots. Thanks for stapling that down, guys.
I was headed over to chat with Kylee, and Dave was on his way over to the SSC. We left the third floor of Brock, heading down the stairs. We got to the main double doors and pushed them open. As I pushed through the first set, I saw two fellow Brockians approaching the building. I had a crucial “yellow-light” decision. Should I stand for a few moments and hold the door for them, or are they far enough away that I should just let the door close and make them unlock it for themselves? They were far enough away that I decided to just keep walking, as did Dave.
As we were a few paces out of the building, we crossed paths with the other gentleman. There were two of them, one of them I know by name (but that’s about all), but both shall remain nameless out of respect. The one I knew sarcastically tossed over his shoulder, “Hey, thanks for holding the door for us, guys.” So, not to be outdone, I sarcastically tossed back, “Hey, you’re welcome!” with a big smile and a wave. Apparently taken aback, and not wanting to lose the last words, the other shouted in a far more desperate tone, “Yah! Thanks for holding it!” Nice comeback. I commend you.
To the first of you: you are extremely pompous.
To the second: you sounded like a desperate five year old who was failing miserably at winning at argument.
This isn’t the first time, nor even the second, that this has happened. I’ve had people sarcastically “burn” me for not holding the door open for them numerous times while leaving Brock, some harsher than others. It’s as if they expect that I owe them something. Look, I don’t want to be rude, but at the same time, with the attitude you’re giving me, why the heck do you think you deserve to have the door held open for you?
A few weeks back I was leaving Brock and a similar situation happened. I walked through both double doors and the student walking towards me moved in front of me to stop me and said, “Really, man? It would take you two extra seconds to stand and hold the door so I wouldn’t have to get my ID out!” To which I replied, “Really, man? It would take you the same two seconds while you’re still walking to get your own ID out.” And I walked around him and on to class.
First of all, logically, if you’re coming back to Brock, you’re probably done with class. You’re most likely not in a hurry. If we’re leaving Brock, it’s more likely we’re actually purposefully headed somewhere, perhaps somewhere we don’t want to be late to. Sure, it’s only two seconds, but it’s the principle of the matter: we’re headed somewhere to participate in an activity, you’re headed back to your dorm to be “off the clock.”
I was sitting in the lounge on the opposite end of Brock once when I heard someone pounding on the doors. Someone had forgotten their ID. There’s a lounge on that side, so me and all my friends assumed someone over there would get the door. Well, no one did. The pounding continued. Finally, someone on that end of the building let the guys in. I say guys because it wasn’t just one guy, it was five. Five guys who either didn’t remember to take their ID with them when they left the building or just didn’t want to reach into their pockets to get it out because they were too lazy. (That last statement actually isn’t too far from the truth. There are guys that do that.) They came to our end of the building, leaning through the doors into the lounge we were all sitting in, and yelled, “Hey, thanks for coming and opening the door for us, guys!” I shouted back, “Hey, thanks for remembering to take your ID with you.”
The thing is, you have every right to not take your ID with you, and you can bank on the fact that someone will open the door for you. But you can’t get upset when someone doesn’t open the door for you. Understand that when we’re sitting in the lounge and we open that door for you, you go upstairs and forget about the whole situation. If we’re sitting in the lounge and everyone does the same thing you do and expects us to open the door for them, we wouldn’t get any work done. That’s why Cedarville gave you an ID, so you could serve yourself.
Next time I’m walking out of Brock and someone tries to slight me with, “Hey, thanks for holding the door for me,” I’ll respond with, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were a woman at a conservative Baptist college.” You know. The types where women just stand at the doors and wait for a guy to come hold the door for them. Because it’s not that they’re special and we want to show them we appreciate them, it’s that they deserve to have the door held for them.
Holding the door for you is a favor, not a requirement. Grow up. Honestly, we live in Brock. We’re already pegged with the stereotype of being arrogant idiots. Thanks for stapling that down, guys.
|
Blood:Water Mission; I Love My Friends
03/26/09 12:59 PM Filed in: Stories
| Indiscriminate
Ladies and gentlemen, I
have a significant announcement to make. No,
I'm not engaged, but close. Actually, it has
nothing to do with marriage or relationships, unless
you consider my relationships with carbonated
beverages more than just the meaningless flings that
I consider them.
No, my announcement is that today, March 26th, 2009, is the twenty-fifth day I have gone without the consumption of a soda. Even more significant, without the consumption of a caffeinated drink. More significant still, I haven't drank anything except water in the last twenty-five days! If this doesn't seem significant enough to you, take into account that I will not be partaking in The Drink for another fifteen days.
Still not significant? Okay, maybe you don't understand my insatiable thirst for caffeine. I love it. I have no shame in admitting that I may or may not be addicted to it. (I guess by the way I sidestepped that question, I may have some shame, but you get the point.) I love Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Cherry Coke, Dr. Pepper, coffee, Latte (or "German Coffee," if you prefer), Macchiato, Chai Tea ... Really, if it has caffeine, I'll probably drink it. And that list doesn’t even include Energy Drinks, which I also enjoy (if they aren’t the nasty tasting ones, anyway).
That's just caffeinated content. I also love Orange Juice, smoothies, and those delicious lizard juices (that sounds weird) by SoBe. On average, considering all the possibilities for caffeine and the fact that soda, coffee, and tea are all free in Chuck's, I ingest ample amounts of caffeine per day. Numerous bottles. Many glasses. Several cups.
So, why the sudden urge to cut off my energy source Cold Turkey for forty days? Well, it's not for Lent, if that's what you're thinking. But really, it is. But it's actually not. Observe.
With proceeds going toward Blood:Water Mission, this non-Lent initiative is to raise awareness, in America specifically, of the fact that we have so many choices. Do I want water at this very moment, or do I want a soda? If I want a soda, which kind? I have dozens to choose from. In America, we're blessed with plenty; in many third-world countries, children have only one choice: water. And that water may not even be healthy, and it certainly isn't filtered and coming through a faucet. The forty days is offset from the Lent holiday by two days, presumably because they were attempting to appeal not just to the religious crowd but also to people who simply wanted to help make a difference around the world. So though it's technically not for Lent, it's practically the same thing. Call it what you will, we've given up drinking anything other than water for forty days.
Kylee the Magnificent, Emilie the Elegant, and I decided we wanted to do this together, so we have been. A few other stragglers from our sphere of influence have joined the bandwagon along the way. Despite the controversy that smoothies may or may not be a drink, we've decided to avoid them as well since we have them regularly too. At the end of the forty days, the three of us are celebrating our completion of this task with smoothies. Toasts and cheers will be made.
We're not just abstaining from anything that doesn't resemble two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom, we're also saving the money that we would normally spend on these drinks and donating it to Blood:Water Mission. $1 will provide water for an African child for one year. It seems hard to believe, but it's true.
The other day, I hid myself from the usual crowd in an attempt to study for an exam I had the following day. I needed to do well on this exam (and, by the way, I did), so from about four in the afternoon to two in the morning, I studied, jotting notes down here and there and working through problems. With the exceptions of Dinner, a few five minute breaks here and there to watch SNL videos on Hulu, and the walk back to my dorm, I was studying fervently for all ten hours.
I was a little stressed and had the onsets of a headache at around nine when the suave Ryan and the beautifully diverse Kristi appeared at my side. I say "appeared" because they literally did and caught me quite off guard. I was looking down, intently writing in my notebook, when all of a sudden I was startled to find a darkly-colored face peering over my left shoulder. When I realized it was Kristi, I gave her a backwards hug, which is slightly more awkward than you might think while sitting in a chair. Luckily, she rides pretty low to the ground, so it wasn't actually that awkward. At this point, Ryan pushed his arm forward into my face and exclaimed, "Here, we brought you this!" with a big smile on his face.
I blinked a few times, stared up and Ryan and Kristi who were both wearing big grins, and back at what Ryan was holding. I was still a little shaken by the headache, study overload, and surprising appearance of two of my favorites, but the fact that Ryan had put a can of Pepsi in my face didn't help either. I think it took me a little while to respond, because inwardly I really wanted that Pepsi, and I was trying to think of some way to justify drinking it. I mean, there it was: a free Pepsi. I hadn't seen a can or a bottle in over twenty days, and the aluminum looked so deliciously inviting.
"I ... Can't ... Have that ..." I managed to sputter out.
I felt bad saying it because I really wanted that Pepsi, and I knew they had only brought it to me because they knew how much I loved Pepsi and that I was studying for an exam, but I have principles, dang it! Forty days! When I start something, I simply must follow it through or I won't be able to live with myself. Sadly, I am forever required to live with myself, so this forty days will not be broken in a moment of weakness!
Poor Ryan and Kristi tried to apologize because they had forgotten all about the forty days of water thing, and they told me to keep the Pepsi in my fridge until the forty days were up. Yah ... Right ... I love you guys, but that just wasn't going to happen. Ryan, being the considerate person that he is, placed the Pepsi on the floor in a prominent place near me. It just sat there, staring at me, torturing me for another hour or so. Emilie, a fellow Pepsi lover like myself, showed up, I told her the story, and she "hid" the Pepsi (which consisted of putting it under the couch next to us so we wouldn't have to look at it. We both wanted it.)
Even though sometimes my friends forget that I'm fasting from a particular substance, I love them all because they’re still considerate enough to bring me something I love when they know I’m stressing out :). So, despite your silly forgetfulness Kristi and Ryan, I still love you both. It's the though that counts. Thanks for thinking of me!
I will make it these forty days. Not only will I then be able to help provide many African children with clean water for a year, I'll also have done something good for myself!
No, my announcement is that today, March 26th, 2009, is the twenty-fifth day I have gone without the consumption of a soda. Even more significant, without the consumption of a caffeinated drink. More significant still, I haven't drank anything except water in the last twenty-five days! If this doesn't seem significant enough to you, take into account that I will not be partaking in The Drink for another fifteen days.
Still not significant? Okay, maybe you don't understand my insatiable thirst for caffeine. I love it. I have no shame in admitting that I may or may not be addicted to it. (I guess by the way I sidestepped that question, I may have some shame, but you get the point.) I love Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Cherry Coke, Dr. Pepper, coffee, Latte (or "German Coffee," if you prefer), Macchiato, Chai Tea ... Really, if it has caffeine, I'll probably drink it. And that list doesn’t even include Energy Drinks, which I also enjoy (if they aren’t the nasty tasting ones, anyway).
That's just caffeinated content. I also love Orange Juice, smoothies, and those delicious lizard juices (that sounds weird) by SoBe. On average, considering all the possibilities for caffeine and the fact that soda, coffee, and tea are all free in Chuck's, I ingest ample amounts of caffeine per day. Numerous bottles. Many glasses. Several cups.
So, why the sudden urge to cut off my energy source Cold Turkey for forty days? Well, it's not for Lent, if that's what you're thinking. But really, it is. But it's actually not. Observe.
With proceeds going toward Blood:Water Mission, this non-Lent initiative is to raise awareness, in America specifically, of the fact that we have so many choices. Do I want water at this very moment, or do I want a soda? If I want a soda, which kind? I have dozens to choose from. In America, we're blessed with plenty; in many third-world countries, children have only one choice: water. And that water may not even be healthy, and it certainly isn't filtered and coming through a faucet. The forty days is offset from the Lent holiday by two days, presumably because they were attempting to appeal not just to the religious crowd but also to people who simply wanted to help make a difference around the world. So though it's technically not for Lent, it's practically the same thing. Call it what you will, we've given up drinking anything other than water for forty days.
Kylee the Magnificent, Emilie the Elegant, and I decided we wanted to do this together, so we have been. A few other stragglers from our sphere of influence have joined the bandwagon along the way. Despite the controversy that smoothies may or may not be a drink, we've decided to avoid them as well since we have them regularly too. At the end of the forty days, the three of us are celebrating our completion of this task with smoothies. Toasts and cheers will be made.
We're not just abstaining from anything that doesn't resemble two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom, we're also saving the money that we would normally spend on these drinks and donating it to Blood:Water Mission. $1 will provide water for an African child for one year. It seems hard to believe, but it's true.
The other day, I hid myself from the usual crowd in an attempt to study for an exam I had the following day. I needed to do well on this exam (and, by the way, I did), so from about four in the afternoon to two in the morning, I studied, jotting notes down here and there and working through problems. With the exceptions of Dinner, a few five minute breaks here and there to watch SNL videos on Hulu, and the walk back to my dorm, I was studying fervently for all ten hours.
I was a little stressed and had the onsets of a headache at around nine when the suave Ryan and the beautifully diverse Kristi appeared at my side. I say "appeared" because they literally did and caught me quite off guard. I was looking down, intently writing in my notebook, when all of a sudden I was startled to find a darkly-colored face peering over my left shoulder. When I realized it was Kristi, I gave her a backwards hug, which is slightly more awkward than you might think while sitting in a chair. Luckily, she rides pretty low to the ground, so it wasn't actually that awkward. At this point, Ryan pushed his arm forward into my face and exclaimed, "Here, we brought you this!" with a big smile on his face.
I blinked a few times, stared up and Ryan and Kristi who were both wearing big grins, and back at what Ryan was holding. I was still a little shaken by the headache, study overload, and surprising appearance of two of my favorites, but the fact that Ryan had put a can of Pepsi in my face didn't help either. I think it took me a little while to respond, because inwardly I really wanted that Pepsi, and I was trying to think of some way to justify drinking it. I mean, there it was: a free Pepsi. I hadn't seen a can or a bottle in over twenty days, and the aluminum looked so deliciously inviting.
"I ... Can't ... Have that ..." I managed to sputter out.
I felt bad saying it because I really wanted that Pepsi, and I knew they had only brought it to me because they knew how much I loved Pepsi and that I was studying for an exam, but I have principles, dang it! Forty days! When I start something, I simply must follow it through or I won't be able to live with myself. Sadly, I am forever required to live with myself, so this forty days will not be broken in a moment of weakness!
Poor Ryan and Kristi tried to apologize because they had forgotten all about the forty days of water thing, and they told me to keep the Pepsi in my fridge until the forty days were up. Yah ... Right ... I love you guys, but that just wasn't going to happen. Ryan, being the considerate person that he is, placed the Pepsi on the floor in a prominent place near me. It just sat there, staring at me, torturing me for another hour or so. Emilie, a fellow Pepsi lover like myself, showed up, I told her the story, and she "hid" the Pepsi (which consisted of putting it under the couch next to us so we wouldn't have to look at it. We both wanted it.)
Even though sometimes my friends forget that I'm fasting from a particular substance, I love them all because they’re still considerate enough to bring me something I love when they know I’m stressing out :). So, despite your silly forgetfulness Kristi and Ryan, I still love you both. It's the though that counts. Thanks for thinking of me!
I will make it these forty days. Not only will I then be able to help provide many African children with clean water for a year, I'll also have done something good for myself!
Cedarville Goes Casual
03/20/09 11:48 AM Filed in: Indiscriminate
| Academia
In a move that no one
in the student body was really expecting, Cedarville
has officially declared every day as “Casual Friday”
... Sort of. We’re still only allowed to wear
t-shirts on Fridays, but will be allowed, starting
after Easter Break in April, to wear jeans on every
day of the week.
After polling prospective and current students, the majority stated that they would enjoy to freedom to express themselves in manners other than the conservative khakis and dress pants that have previously been required.
This is a decision that a lot of people, including myself, have been eagerly anticipating, though I didn’t think it would happen while I was still a student here. I never minded the dress code to the extent that I would complain about it (because I agreed to come here fully aware of what I would be required to wear), but I do prefer the comfort of wearing jeans, or even simply the ability to make my own choice. I have heard numerous people verbally complain (extensively) about having to wear khakis, and to them I say that they shouldn’t have come to Cedarville. I really just don’t like whining.
Now the dress code has changed, and a new class of complaining has been made: those that don’t want it to change. Why, I’m not sure. If they truly enjoy the comfort of their khakis that much, I encourage them to wear them. They have the choice. And now we have the choice to wear jeans. I also challenge them, if they’re going to so consistently gripe about this change in freedom, to continue to wear khakis for the remainder of the year. Heck, wear them all of next year if you’re really in that much protest over the matter. As they say, “Put your pants where your mouth is.”
The biggest argument I hear is that the “professional” dress that Cedarville used to require is what defines us as a University above all other Christian Universities. That’s not true though. What defines us as a University above other Universities is our character. Christians are known by their actions, not by their appearances. Additionally, the previous dress code disallowed jeans; it in no way promoted a professional look. I saw people wear horribly ugly cargo pants and/or jeans colored other than blue just to get around the dress code. These did not look professional in any way. A formal pair of dark jeans looks far more professional than cargo pants. If Cedarville did maintain its previous dress code to promote a look of professionalism, it was failing.
Hey, if you find yourself ever defined by how you look, or if you think you’re wearing khakis makes you “holier than thou,” I strongly suggest you rethink your mentality towards Christianity.
The other complaint I hear is that this is just the first step toward a downward spiral for Cedarville’s standards. This is equally ridiculous as Cedarville has been liberating itself to adapt to the culture for many years prior to this. You do realize men used to have to wear suits and women were required to wear dresses every day, right? Additionally, Cedarville is still one of only a few other Universities in the country that requires chapel five days a week. Even prestigious graduate school seminaries like Moody Bible only have chapel two or three times a week, and other institutions like Dallas Theological require significantly less consistent attendance at their chapels.
If Chuck’s decided the cafeteria was too full and built a new one in addition to the one we already have so we then had more selection, would you gripe about that too? “What? I have more choices now? But I only really needed pizza!” Hey, eat your pizza then. The rest of us are happy for the broader scope of choice. Stop imposing your own tastes and opinions on others.
Please, I’m asking all of you, stop complaining about Cedarville adapting and relating to the culture around it. There is nothing wrong with this change, and if anything it is beneficial for our school. If you truly dislike the decision that much, it does not have to effect you. It only effects those of us who want to express ourselves differently in how we dress. Now it’s our turn to tell you: “stop whining.”
After polling prospective and current students, the majority stated that they would enjoy to freedom to express themselves in manners other than the conservative khakis and dress pants that have previously been required.
This is a decision that a lot of people, including myself, have been eagerly anticipating, though I didn’t think it would happen while I was still a student here. I never minded the dress code to the extent that I would complain about it (because I agreed to come here fully aware of what I would be required to wear), but I do prefer the comfort of wearing jeans, or even simply the ability to make my own choice. I have heard numerous people verbally complain (extensively) about having to wear khakis, and to them I say that they shouldn’t have come to Cedarville. I really just don’t like whining.
Now the dress code has changed, and a new class of complaining has been made: those that don’t want it to change. Why, I’m not sure. If they truly enjoy the comfort of their khakis that much, I encourage them to wear them. They have the choice. And now we have the choice to wear jeans. I also challenge them, if they’re going to so consistently gripe about this change in freedom, to continue to wear khakis for the remainder of the year. Heck, wear them all of next year if you’re really in that much protest over the matter. As they say, “Put your pants where your mouth is.”
The biggest argument I hear is that the “professional” dress that Cedarville used to require is what defines us as a University above all other Christian Universities. That’s not true though. What defines us as a University above other Universities is our character. Christians are known by their actions, not by their appearances. Additionally, the previous dress code disallowed jeans; it in no way promoted a professional look. I saw people wear horribly ugly cargo pants and/or jeans colored other than blue just to get around the dress code. These did not look professional in any way. A formal pair of dark jeans looks far more professional than cargo pants. If Cedarville did maintain its previous dress code to promote a look of professionalism, it was failing.
Hey, if you find yourself ever defined by how you look, or if you think you’re wearing khakis makes you “holier than thou,” I strongly suggest you rethink your mentality towards Christianity.
The other complaint I hear is that this is just the first step toward a downward spiral for Cedarville’s standards. This is equally ridiculous as Cedarville has been liberating itself to adapt to the culture for many years prior to this. You do realize men used to have to wear suits and women were required to wear dresses every day, right? Additionally, Cedarville is still one of only a few other Universities in the country that requires chapel five days a week. Even prestigious graduate school seminaries like Moody Bible only have chapel two or three times a week, and other institutions like Dallas Theological require significantly less consistent attendance at their chapels.
If Chuck’s decided the cafeteria was too full and built a new one in addition to the one we already have so we then had more selection, would you gripe about that too? “What? I have more choices now? But I only really needed pizza!” Hey, eat your pizza then. The rest of us are happy for the broader scope of choice. Stop imposing your own tastes and opinions on others.
Please, I’m asking all of you, stop complaining about Cedarville adapting and relating to the culture around it. There is nothing wrong with this change, and if anything it is beneficial for our school. If you truly dislike the decision that much, it does not have to effect you. It only effects those of us who want to express ourselves differently in how we dress. Now it’s our turn to tell you: “stop whining.”
An Open Letter to Lounge Couples
03/05/09 02:06 PM Filed in: Indiscriminate
A disturbing trend
seems to be on the rise at Cedarville University:
Awkward Lounge Couples. I’m not talking about couples
that find themselves in a particular lounge with a
few friends just hanging out, I’m talking about
Awkward Lounge Couples. Some of you may not
find this that unusual, but I, because these Couples
can really only be found at Cedarville. You know who
you are, Couples.
You’re a disturbance to us all. We can’t concentrate with your awkward presence, gazing into each others eyes, making strange (and apparently romantic) cooing sounds at each other, and talking in that weird I-totally-like-you voice. You know, I’m a fan of relationships and couples and marriage, but you’re doing it all wrong. I’m not expert on relationships, but I’m pretty sure if you disturb everyone around you, you’re doing something wrong.1
See, it’s frustrating when a group of friends come into an area that has more than enough lounge room only to find a couple (that’s two) taking up an entire couch (made for ten) watching a movie or just sitting awkwardly close, cuddling and talking in that weird voice. Sure, there’s one or two other couches we could pull together to hang out, but we don’t want to do that for two reasons: first of all, it would be rude to you. Since there’s ten of us and only two of you, we would probably dominate the noise level in the area and scare you away.2 It would make us happy to do so, but it would also leave us feeling a little rude. Second, if we didn’t end up dominating you out of the area, it would be incredibly awkward for us, even if we tried our best to ignore you.3
The problem with Cedarville University isn’t that it doesn’t have enough lounges. On the contrary, the school has more than enough lounges for people to study in/play games in/watch movies in if people would use them appropriately. The problem lies with the Awkward Couples that take up more than half of the lounges.4
Since I know this is probably a shocking revelation to you, finding out that the majority of the school can’t stand you, and since I’m also sure you have no idea how to correct this problem, I’ve provided some less-than-appealing (to you, not us. Though, trust me, they’re good for you.) suggestions for you to keep our lounges friendly to all ages.
Those are just a few free alternatives. If you start spending money, the possibilities become endless, and we couldn’t be happier if you left campus.
All footnotes are courtesy of Jenna M. Woestman, the blogger responsible for most of the content at jennawoestman.com and who is an actual married woman.
1. So true. I concur, and since I’m married this makes me a marriage expert.
2. Which might not be a bad idea.
3. Creepy Couples are real unhealthy, not to mention totally creepy.
4. One time when I visited Cedarville, I saw like ten Lounge Couples in the DMC or whatever that place is called. TEN. That’s uncalled for.
5. I recommend leaving a Bible in between the two of you because it’s at least six inches wide and will pretty much always remind you to leave room for Jesus. My grandparents did this in college, and they actually have a picture of themselves standing outside a building with a Bible in between them. It’s pretty amazing, so you should follow their example.
6. Also, if you actually do wind up getting married, you may discover you don’t like this person much, that they mostly make you want to poke your eye out, because YOU NEVER TALKED TO THEM WHILE YOU WERE DATING.
7. Ew, sick.
8. Unless if Vikings overrun Cedarville, in which case you’re in trouble anyway.
9. I tried staring at Joey deeply into his eyes at our wedding…but since we never did it before then much it was kinda weird and sort of creepy. Plus he kept making slightly odd faces and telling me to “shhh” because I was trying to talk to him while Sister and Brother were singing, even though Pastor Steve had said we could talk if we wanted. (I’m pretty sure this will be a bone of contention until our dying day. He swears Pastor Steve didn’t say that, I say he did.) Anyways, all that to say you don’t have to stare creepily into one another’s eyes in order to get married.
10. Plus, if you ditch out on all your friends who will you have be your bridesmaids and groomsmen? You can’t just hire people for that job, it’s best if they’re friends. And if you have a ton of siblings and were planning on just picking them, that’s a total cop-out. You still do need friends. Trust me.
You’re a disturbance to us all. We can’t concentrate with your awkward presence, gazing into each others eyes, making strange (and apparently romantic) cooing sounds at each other, and talking in that weird I-totally-like-you voice. You know, I’m a fan of relationships and couples and marriage, but you’re doing it all wrong. I’m not expert on relationships, but I’m pretty sure if you disturb everyone around you, you’re doing something wrong.1
See, it’s frustrating when a group of friends come into an area that has more than enough lounge room only to find a couple (that’s two) taking up an entire couch (made for ten) watching a movie or just sitting awkwardly close, cuddling and talking in that weird voice. Sure, there’s one or two other couches we could pull together to hang out, but we don’t want to do that for two reasons: first of all, it would be rude to you. Since there’s ten of us and only two of you, we would probably dominate the noise level in the area and scare you away.2 It would make us happy to do so, but it would also leave us feeling a little rude. Second, if we didn’t end up dominating you out of the area, it would be incredibly awkward for us, even if we tried our best to ignore you.3
The problem with Cedarville University isn’t that it doesn’t have enough lounges. On the contrary, the school has more than enough lounges for people to study in/play games in/watch movies in if people would use them appropriately. The problem lies with the Awkward Couples that take up more than half of the lounges.4
Since I know this is probably a shocking revelation to you, finding out that the majority of the school can’t stand you, and since I’m also sure you have no idea how to correct this problem, I’ve provided some less-than-appealing (to you, not us. Though, trust me, they’re good for you.) suggestions for you to keep our lounges friendly to all ages.
- Leave room for Jesus. Really, you don’t need to be practically on top of each other. I know, you think that you’re so awkwardly close that no RA would dare confront you on the matter because it would be more awkward for the RA than it would be for you two. But use some discretion here. This isn’t some Biblical principle I’m calling you out on, it just seems like common sense to me. Is it really healthy for you two to be that close? I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with holding hands or even putting your arm (not to be confused with arms, the plural form) around your significant other. But here’s a good rule to abide by: if someone may be caused discomfort by what you’re doing, it’s probably not appropriate for a lounge.5
- Stop watching movies. I understand that Cedarville is a small campus in a small town that doesn’t provide a whole lot for entertainment, but there are other sources with which you may waste your time other than movies. For instance, how about actually talking to each other? Perhaps you could play a game. Anything, really, but watching movies all the time. Answer me this: how will you feel someday when your children ask you, “Mom, Dad, what did you two do in college to get to know each other before you got married?” and you’re forced to answer, “Nothing. Really—Nothing. Only the mindless, non-interactive activity of movie watching.”6
- Stop staring at each other. Don’t worry. They won’t disappear if you look away. And those blue eyes will always be there.7 Nobody’s going to gouge them out of her.8 And if someone is, you probably have more important things to be thinking about so, again, stop staring at each other and contact the authorities. Anyway, you’ve decided to not watch movies, which is good, but instead you spend your time staring awkwardly into each other’s eyes. I suppose there is a time and a place for this because some people do have magnificent eyes (take Kylee for example. I stare into her Baby Blues regularly, but I don’t think I weird anybody out by doing it…I mean, everybody loves her eyes), but it’s not in a lounge making everyone around you feel uncomfortable.9
- Hang out with other people. Turns out that when you become a couple with someone, the rest of your friends don’t drop off the planet. It’s true. We actually still want to hang out with you guys (so long as you’re not being disgusting and/or awkward). I hate it be the bearer of bad news, but not all relationships work out, especially those premature and immature ones that are basically built on you two sitting on each other. I’m not saying you’re going to break up, but there’s always that possibility. If that happens and you ditched all your friends when you met your Fancy, who do you have to fall back on? Look, even if you’re not going to break up and you’re quite sure you’re going to get married someday, you’re not off the hook; that’s still not healthy. You need friendships even after marriage (I know, it’s hard to believe).10
Those are just a few free alternatives. If you start spending money, the possibilities become endless, and we couldn’t be happier if you left campus.
All footnotes are courtesy of Jenna M. Woestman, the blogger responsible for most of the content at jennawoestman.com and who is an actual married woman.
1. So true. I concur, and since I’m married this makes me a marriage expert.
2. Which might not be a bad idea.
3. Creepy Couples are real unhealthy, not to mention totally creepy.
4. One time when I visited Cedarville, I saw like ten Lounge Couples in the DMC or whatever that place is called. TEN. That’s uncalled for.
5. I recommend leaving a Bible in between the two of you because it’s at least six inches wide and will pretty much always remind you to leave room for Jesus. My grandparents did this in college, and they actually have a picture of themselves standing outside a building with a Bible in between them. It’s pretty amazing, so you should follow their example.
6. Also, if you actually do wind up getting married, you may discover you don’t like this person much, that they mostly make you want to poke your eye out, because YOU NEVER TALKED TO THEM WHILE YOU WERE DATING.
7. Ew, sick.
8. Unless if Vikings overrun Cedarville, in which case you’re in trouble anyway.
9. I tried staring at Joey deeply into his eyes at our wedding…but since we never did it before then much it was kinda weird and sort of creepy. Plus he kept making slightly odd faces and telling me to “shhh” because I was trying to talk to him while Sister and Brother were singing, even though Pastor Steve had said we could talk if we wanted. (I’m pretty sure this will be a bone of contention until our dying day. He swears Pastor Steve didn’t say that, I say he did.) Anyways, all that to say you don’t have to stare creepily into one another’s eyes in order to get married.
10. Plus, if you ditch out on all your friends who will you have be your bridesmaids and groomsmen? You can’t just hire people for that job, it’s best if they’re friends. And if you have a ton of siblings and were planning on just picking them, that’s a total cop-out. You still do need friends. Trust me.
Culture Week at Chuck's and the Zoo That is Cedarville
02/05/09 01:58 PM Filed in: Indiscriminate
My friends and I have
noted a disturbing fact as of late. We are
constantly on display. Now, this may not come
as alarming to some of you. I guess in some
form or another, everyone is always on display.
But here at Cedarville, we sort of feel like
we're more on display; like we're attractions
in a zoo or something.
Every time I turn around, That Guy (you know who I'm talking about) is taking a picture of me, or videoing my friends and me having a conversation. If ever you look at him, he'll snap at you (he's not the best people person) and tell you, "Don't look at the camera. I'm not here!" Then he'll proceed to literally shove the camera into your face. Honestly, is a shot up my nose really necessary?
From the rumor weed I have attained that he's making a new "Come to Cedarville, We're Awesome Here" video. If that's true, props to him. Everyone should come to Cedarville, because we are awesome here. When compared to some 288 private and public universities all over the country, Cedarville ranked #1 in student satisfaction (and I know all three of those girls on that page)! I fully agree with that statistic because I'm fully satisfied here. Even still, the camera guy in my face is a bit excessive, and he's been filming this thing for over a semester now ... I've been on it countless times. Perhaps if he were a little more polite about it and not quite so creepy then nobody would mind, but he really was the talk of campus about a month back. It's sort of died down since then, but I still see him around.
We're not just on display for That Guy, though. There's tours going through all the time. Last time a tour walked by, which was about the third of fourth one I had accidently found myself in the middle of that week, I mentioned to Kylee, "Do you ever just feel like you're constantly on display? Like we're animals in a zoo or something." For some reason this cause her to start doing model poses. I'm not sure I see the correlation, but she finally stopped and agreed with me. But students, seriously, we want you to Cedarville. When you're a student here someday, you'll understand why it's kind of awkward to see a group of twenty high school students gawking at you like you're some kind of freak. "Mom, is that a real college student?!"
Anyway, this week is Culture Week here at Cedarville. The week where we have speakers come in to chapel to discuss diversity and other such good things. On Monday, Dr. Brown made a joke about this.
Every time I turn around, That Guy (you know who I'm talking about) is taking a picture of me, or videoing my friends and me having a conversation. If ever you look at him, he'll snap at you (he's not the best people person) and tell you, "Don't look at the camera. I'm not here!" Then he'll proceed to literally shove the camera into your face. Honestly, is a shot up my nose really necessary?
From the rumor weed I have attained that he's making a new "Come to Cedarville, We're Awesome Here" video. If that's true, props to him. Everyone should come to Cedarville, because we are awesome here. When compared to some 288 private and public universities all over the country, Cedarville ranked #1 in student satisfaction (and I know all three of those girls on that page)! I fully agree with that statistic because I'm fully satisfied here. Even still, the camera guy in my face is a bit excessive, and he's been filming this thing for over a semester now ... I've been on it countless times. Perhaps if he were a little more polite about it and not quite so creepy then nobody would mind, but he really was the talk of campus about a month back. It's sort of died down since then, but I still see him around.
We're not just on display for That Guy, though. There's tours going through all the time. Last time a tour walked by, which was about the third of fourth one I had accidently found myself in the middle of that week, I mentioned to Kylee, "Do you ever just feel like you're constantly on display? Like we're animals in a zoo or something." For some reason this cause her to start doing model poses. I'm not sure I see the correlation, but she finally stopped and agreed with me. But students, seriously, we want you to Cedarville. When you're a student here someday, you'll understand why it's kind of awkward to see a group of twenty high school students gawking at you like you're some kind of freak. "Mom, is that a real college student?!"
Anyway, this week is Culture Week here at Cedarville. The week where we have speakers come in to chapel to discuss diversity and other such good things. On Monday, Dr. Brown made a joke about this.
Certainly a funny picture. Half of the chapel
laughed because they thought the humor was in the
fact that Chanukah was spelled wrong (it's not ...
Jewish people can't eat Ham ... That's the joke), but
I digress. Less than twelve hours later, I
walked into Chuck's to participate in the Monday
night cultural event. I heard some sort of
Middle-Eastern music and saw that it was Indian food
tonight (and by Indian I do mean the country
India, not the less than politically correct Native
Americans). Apparently the point of the week is
to have a different culture represented at Dinner so
we can enjoy a diverse experience in Chuck's.
Here's the problem: I've found that Chuck's
"enlightenment" of the cultures is more of a disgrace
to whatever culture he chooses. It's horribly
stereotypical. For instance, on Soul Food
night, we are served mashed potatoes and gravy,
buiscuits, corn bread, collard beans, and fried
chicken while Christian rap renditions of secular
songs play over the speakers (for instance, J-Kwon’s
“Tipsy”). (If we wanted a truly cultural experience,
shouldn’t you be playing “Can I Get A ...” by Jay-Z,
Chuck?)
But Monday night, the very same day that Dr. Brown
had made his pointed joke about whatever that grocery
store was advertising Ham as a delicious addition to
your Chanukah, Chuck's serves Indian Beef. So I
googled it. There are recipes for Indian Beef. I
have no idea what it is, but it seems ironic to me
that, on the night we're representing the nation that
is known for being the largest Hindu nation in the
world, we are served beef; a nation that is known for
having meatless hamburgers at their McDonalds; a
nation that sued a Japanese airline for serving beef
on a connecting flight.
Perhaps it's my own naivity, but why was beef served
on the night we were being enlightened on the Indian
culture?
Despite this week being lousy at Chuck's, we still
have the highest student satisfaction, not because of
our food during weeks such as these, but because of
the Cedarville environment. Just come visit and
you'll see that. We all love it here, and we're
willing to put up with silly little things like this
simply because the school itself is so
stellar.
Minier: Sorry for Breaking the Elevator ... Again
02/05/09 10:35 AM Filed in: Stories
It wasn't all that
different from a normal morning, really. I woke
up a little before nine, slinked my way out of the
top bunk, observed that my roommate was still asleep,
and quietly crept out of the room to the
shower. Apparently my shower wasn't cold enough
or something, because I could still feel that the
sleepyness was winning in the fight for my body as I
got back to my room. Dave was still
asleep. Since the time was nearly past the
point of him rolling out of bed, throwing on some
clothes, and walking with me to chapel on time, I
opted out of waiting for him and quickly got dressed
myself.
Still somewhat groggy, I left my room and decided against the stairs. This early in the morning I just might tumble down them after losing my footing, and I do live on the third floor of Brock ... I deserved an elevator ride, I thought.
I pushed the call button. Immedietly, the doors to the waiting elevator pulled open. I stepped inside and pushed the button for the first floor. Here's where things began to get hazy, because in my delusional state, I'm not entirely sure what happened. This is what I remember: directly after pressing the button for the first floor, the elevator tried to go down. This wasn't all that bad of a decision on the elevators part, considering they are made to go up and down, except that it had forgotten to close the door first. Luckily, our elevator, as any good elevator should be, is equipped with a safety that won't allow the elevator to leave the floor until the door is closed. This resulted in the elevator shaking violently up and down; trying to move, trying to close the door, and probably trying to stop, all at the same time, all as I was thrown against the walls, grabbing the hand rails for dear life.
Finally, the elevator realized it should close the doors before trying to head down. It abruptly stopped shaking up and down and tried to close the door. We must have been just a notch below the resting point for the third floor, because the door had a horrible time trying to close. While it was trying to close at very slow speeds, the sound it made resembled that of a car crash, or some equally painful sound where metal is grinding and bending against metal. I took this opportunity, as the door was closing at just under the speed of a snail, to dive out of the elevator.
As I stood just outside the elevator, panting and trying to regain breath and concienceness, the grinding stopped and the door glided to a close. Then the power turned off. Needless to say, I took the stairs.
The Brock elevator has yet to work since this happened. This my open apology letter to you all. I never should have hit the button for the first floor ...
Still somewhat groggy, I left my room and decided against the stairs. This early in the morning I just might tumble down them after losing my footing, and I do live on the third floor of Brock ... I deserved an elevator ride, I thought.
I pushed the call button. Immedietly, the doors to the waiting elevator pulled open. I stepped inside and pushed the button for the first floor. Here's where things began to get hazy, because in my delusional state, I'm not entirely sure what happened. This is what I remember: directly after pressing the button for the first floor, the elevator tried to go down. This wasn't all that bad of a decision on the elevators part, considering they are made to go up and down, except that it had forgotten to close the door first. Luckily, our elevator, as any good elevator should be, is equipped with a safety that won't allow the elevator to leave the floor until the door is closed. This resulted in the elevator shaking violently up and down; trying to move, trying to close the door, and probably trying to stop, all at the same time, all as I was thrown against the walls, grabbing the hand rails for dear life.
Finally, the elevator realized it should close the doors before trying to head down. It abruptly stopped shaking up and down and tried to close the door. We must have been just a notch below the resting point for the third floor, because the door had a horrible time trying to close. While it was trying to close at very slow speeds, the sound it made resembled that of a car crash, or some equally painful sound where metal is grinding and bending against metal. I took this opportunity, as the door was closing at just under the speed of a snail, to dive out of the elevator.
As I stood just outside the elevator, panting and trying to regain breath and concienceness, the grinding stopped and the door glided to a close. Then the power turned off. Needless to say, I took the stairs.
The Brock elevator has yet to work since this happened. This my open apology letter to you all. I never should have hit the button for the first floor ...
First Week Ramblings
01/09/09 05:40 PM Filed in: Academia
Passing Out
How many people have to pass out in chapel before we’re considered charismatic? I said at least ten, but Dave thinks we can probably get away with just five. Either way, I don’t think we’re up to charismatic yet ... But we’re gaining fast.I’m back at school again, and this week is the Spring Missions Conference. Yes, we’ve already had two people pass out. In chapel. On the same day. I think this may be a hint as to how stellar our speakers have been thus far, specifically two days ago when the two people passed out.
The first guy was the camera man. I’m guessing he locked his knees, but I think it’s more fun to blame it on the speaker who couldn’t even hold Jessica’s interest enough to keep her taking notes. And she always takes notes.
The second one was somebody in the back. I didn’t see them, but just as chapel was just getting out, Jesse Jones (my hero) flipped open his phone to view a text message. I then heard him mutter, “Oh, crap, somebody else passed out.”
“Wait, what? Besides the camera guy?”
“Yah, they’re in the back,” he replied as he threw his backpack over his shoulder and darted to the back of the chapel. Jesse is an EMT. He’s also a stud. And yes, ladies, I do believe he’s single.
Elevator
Campus Safety has it out to get us. By us I basically only mean the dorm of Brock. The elevator hasn’t worked all year, but at the beginning of this semester our RD sent out an email informing us that it has been turned on again. It was turned off at the beginning of the year due to “improper use.” We’re not sure what that means; all we did was put a bench and a lounge chair on it ... Repeatedly ... After they kept getting taken off, presumably by Campus Safety or Maintenance.Anyway, our elevator is back on, and Dave and I are making the most of it. We’re pretty lazy when it comes to stairs. However, the elevator is really creepy to use ... It makes all sorts of creaking sounds and sways back and forth as it crawls up and down. I honestly think we’re going to end up getting stuck in it one of these days. Dave’s motto is, “Never ride in an elevator with someone you wouldn’t be willing to make out with for a few hours if the elevator got stuck.” I’m not sure what this means considering he rides up and down with me regularly, but we inform anyone riding on the elevator with us of our motto, just so they know.
Kristi’s Still Small
It turns out Kristi hasn’t grown any over break. She still fits just as snugly as before in one of these chairs.
Classes, etc.
Except for lab, I’ve now attended all of my classes. I have all my classes on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and one of them (which is a five-credit class) is also on Tuesday, Thursday. I’m taking Calculus II, General Physics I, Discrete Math, and Programming Language Survey. It’s going to be a lot of work, but I think I’ll be able to handle it. This afternoon I finished putting all of my assignments into a calendar entitled “Schoolwork” on Google Calendar. I found a way to properly synchronize Google Calendar with iCal, which syncs with iTunes, which syncs with my iPod! Now my entire schedule and all my homework with me wherever I go!Random Quote
“Wow ... Well now I’ve seen everything!”“Really? Have you seen a man eat his own head?”
I don’t know if it was just too late at night or ... What, but this quote was about the only redeeming quality to this movie, which shall remain unnamed for security reasons.
Weekend
I’ve officially made it to my first weekend back at school. It’s Friday, and I’ve finished all classes for today. Kylee and I (and anyone else that decides to tag along) are going to see Seven Pounds tonight. Tomorrow I’ll start on getting ahead on all my homework.The first week always seems to be the worst. It’s when you’re experiencing that shock of going from waking up at eleven in the morning and doing absolutely nothing all day back to waking up with the sun to stress yourself out all day. But it always gets better. The semester is almost never as bad as the syllabi or prof make them out to be the first day of class (and one of my profs certainly made the class out to be awful ... But it won’t be).
All-in-all, it’s great to be back with friends and at the school I love. And I’m really looking forward to this semester. And, yes, I do realize this is the most random and unorganized post I’ve ever written. You’ll have to give me a break. It’s just the end of the first week, which both similar (in terms of your mind being fried) and completely different than (in terms of amount of stress and workload) than Finals Week.
Distraction
12/10/08 04:11 PM Filed in: Academia
It’s
Finals Week. Chuck’s is open continuously from 6am to
6pm. I can’t stand eating before 6pm, so I’ve
actually been eating in The Hive for Dinner, and I’m
not sure who actually gets up at 6am during Finals
Week when the first finals are never before 8am.
Anyway, six is just far too early to be social or
eat.
So I’ve been in The Hive all day, working hard. People have been drifting in and out, as have I. I had to leave for work at one, but other then that I’ve been here since I woke up. Kylee’s been here, Ryan, Dave, Gabe, Shannon, Kristi, Justin ... Maybe a few other people. I don’t know, my brain is sort of fried right now.
Anyway, everyone just left me except Kristi, who is sitting in the chair next to me, asleep. It’s making me very jealous. It’s not just that she’s asleep and I’m writing a paper. It’s more so that she’s so small that she is able to curl up into a ball small enough to fit in the chair ...
So I’ve been in The Hive all day, working hard. People have been drifting in and out, as have I. I had to leave for work at one, but other then that I’ve been here since I woke up. Kylee’s been here, Ryan, Dave, Gabe, Shannon, Kristi, Justin ... Maybe a few other people. I don’t know, my brain is sort of fried right now.
Anyway, everyone just left me except Kristi, who is sitting in the chair next to me, asleep. It’s making me very jealous. It’s not just that she’s asleep and I’m writing a paper. It’s more so that she’s so small that she is able to curl up into a ball small enough to fit in the chair ...
Really, should that even be allowed? Look at that! It
gets worse. As she’s continued to sleep (and
she’s quite
out),
she’s curled tighter and tighter and wiggled further
into the chair. It’s making me jealous.
The other day, just for fun, I
tried
being like Kristi and curling up into a ball on a
chair to fall asleep. It was about the most
uncomfortable thing I’ve ever done, and I’m not
exactly a big person. She makes it look so easy ...
Unfortunately, I couldn’t get a better picture that
didn’t have the coat wrapped around her before she
woke up. Sorry about that, guys. Also, when Ryan came
back from getting the oil changed in his car, he
didn’t realize Kristi was in the chair, he just
thought it was her coat and that she had left. A few
minutes later, when she did one of her “curl tighter”
things, he freaked out.
Okay, that’s probably about all the distraction I
have time to muster up right now. I’ll try to be more
consistant in posting once this hectic week blows
over!
In closing, I wish I were as small, compact, and
travel size as Kristi is. Seriously, it just seems
like you could pick her up and carry her around with
you, or put her in your pocket. Put her in a
suitcase. Pretty much anywhere, she’d probably fit.
I’d better stop before I get in too much more trouble
... At this point I’m running on way too little
sleep, too much stress, and not enough
rationale.
Hypocritical RAs
I have
no problem with RAs. I have no problem with police
officers. I really have no problem with authority.
Here’s what I do have a problem with: hypocrisy.
Especially when it comes from
authority.
This morning I had my last class in Old Testament Literature. During finals, we’re allowed to wear jeans to class instead of our usual Class Dress, which is basically anything but jeans. So, this week being finals week, I decided to wear jeans this morning. Sure, finals don’t technically start until tomorrow, but this week is finals week, so that was my defense. And considering 50% of the campus has the same mentality as I on this matter, I wasn’t too concerned about getting demerits for it, and I didn’t. But I did overhear a conversation entailing the demerits of another that made me want to stand up and shout!
I was sitting in my comfy rolly chair when it happened. Two girls were sitting in the row in front of me, one of which was wearing blue jeans, when a tall fellow, who was wearing black jeans, strolled up and sat in the chair on the end of the row.
Black Jeans Guy: Hey, you’re wearing jeans. I should write you up.
Blue Jeans Girl: It’s finals ...
Black Jeans Guy: Finals don’t start until tomorrow.
Blue Jeans Girl: Look around you. Everyone is wearing jeans today.
Random Girl: You’re wearing jeans!
Black Jeans Guy: No, these are black jeans. You’re wearing blue jeans.
Blue Jeans Girl: Your point?
Black Jeans Guy: The rule book says no blue jeans. Black jeans are fine. It’s okay though. You’re my friend, and it’s the last week, so I won’t write you up.
Random Girl: How considerate of you.
This conversation bothered me on so many levels. First of all, Black Jeans Guy was clearly going to let Blue Jeans Girl off the hook merely because they were friends. I was crossing my fingers the entire class, hoping he would turn around and try to give me demerits after class so I could give him the what’s-up. He didn’t.
Friend exceptions bug me, just like any amount of inconsistency bugs me, but the fact that he was actually trying to give demerits to someone else for wearing jeans while he was wearing jeans just made me want to jump into the conversation even more. I refrained.
I wanted to jump up and say, “Oh my goodness, do you not even understand the rules you’re supposed to be enforcing? The rule book says nothing about jeans whatsoever, no matter the color! Dr. Brown made a joke about it last year in chapel, but the rule book is silent on the matter.”
If he had talked to me after class, here’s what I would have said: “I’ll make you a deal. We walk to the SSC right now and get a Student Handbook. If the handbook says anything about jeans, specifically blue jeans, you can right me up for five demerits, if you want.” A dress code violation is only worth two demerits. “However, if black jeans are just as unacceptable as blue jeans, you and I are marching to your RDs office and you’re giving yourself demerits while I get none.”
Just for fun, let’s have a look at the Student Handbook, shall we? Yes, I actually have memorized parts of the Handbook just for moments such as these. It really would have made my day if he had talked to me ...
Men
Dress/sport shirt, sweaters/sweatshirts, slacks, and footwear (no long/short-sleeved T-shirts or shorts)
Women
Skirts, dresses, blouses, sweaters/sweatshirts, slacks, and footwear (no long/short-sleeved T-shirts, shorts, or leggings)
Since their seems to be a bit of confusion, let’s define “slacks” according to Webster.
slacks: trousers especially for casual wear
trouser: pant
pant: an outer garment covering each leg separately and usually extending from the waist to the ankle
As you may have noticed, as I certainly did, slacks mentions nothing of denim or color. In fact, if we took this definition completely literally, jeans may even be allowed! However, they aren’t.
It’s not so much that I care about the fact that jeans may or may not be allowed according to the Handbook. It’s that the RA used the “fact” that “the rule book says no blue jeans.” No, it doesn’t. I’ve heard RAs misquote the rule book numerous times, and it bothers me that those in authority that are supposed to be enforcing the rules on us don’t even have a proper understanding of the rules they are to be enforcing. This is why I memorize parts of the rule book. Now I just wish someone would call me out when I actually have a good defense like today ...
This morning I had my last class in Old Testament Literature. During finals, we’re allowed to wear jeans to class instead of our usual Class Dress, which is basically anything but jeans. So, this week being finals week, I decided to wear jeans this morning. Sure, finals don’t technically start until tomorrow, but this week is finals week, so that was my defense. And considering 50% of the campus has the same mentality as I on this matter, I wasn’t too concerned about getting demerits for it, and I didn’t. But I did overhear a conversation entailing the demerits of another that made me want to stand up and shout!
I was sitting in my comfy rolly chair when it happened. Two girls were sitting in the row in front of me, one of which was wearing blue jeans, when a tall fellow, who was wearing black jeans, strolled up and sat in the chair on the end of the row.
Black Jeans Guy: Hey, you’re wearing jeans. I should write you up.
Blue Jeans Girl: It’s finals ...
Black Jeans Guy: Finals don’t start until tomorrow.
Blue Jeans Girl: Look around you. Everyone is wearing jeans today.
Random Girl: You’re wearing jeans!
Black Jeans Guy: No, these are black jeans. You’re wearing blue jeans.
Blue Jeans Girl: Your point?
Black Jeans Guy: The rule book says no blue jeans. Black jeans are fine. It’s okay though. You’re my friend, and it’s the last week, so I won’t write you up.
Random Girl: How considerate of you.
This conversation bothered me on so many levels. First of all, Black Jeans Guy was clearly going to let Blue Jeans Girl off the hook merely because they were friends. I was crossing my fingers the entire class, hoping he would turn around and try to give me demerits after class so I could give him the what’s-up. He didn’t.
Friend exceptions bug me, just like any amount of inconsistency bugs me, but the fact that he was actually trying to give demerits to someone else for wearing jeans while he was wearing jeans just made me want to jump into the conversation even more. I refrained.
I wanted to jump up and say, “Oh my goodness, do you not even understand the rules you’re supposed to be enforcing? The rule book says nothing about jeans whatsoever, no matter the color! Dr. Brown made a joke about it last year in chapel, but the rule book is silent on the matter.”
If he had talked to me after class, here’s what I would have said: “I’ll make you a deal. We walk to the SSC right now and get a Student Handbook. If the handbook says anything about jeans, specifically blue jeans, you can right me up for five demerits, if you want.” A dress code violation is only worth two demerits. “However, if black jeans are just as unacceptable as blue jeans, you and I are marching to your RDs office and you’re giving yourself demerits while I get none.”
Just for fun, let’s have a look at the Student Handbook, shall we? Yes, I actually have memorized parts of the Handbook just for moments such as these. It really would have made my day if he had talked to me ...
Men
Dress/sport shirt, sweaters/sweatshirts, slacks, and footwear (no long/short-sleeved T-shirts or shorts)
Women
Skirts, dresses, blouses, sweaters/sweatshirts, slacks, and footwear (no long/short-sleeved T-shirts, shorts, or leggings)
Since their seems to be a bit of confusion, let’s define “slacks” according to Webster.
slacks: trousers especially for casual wear
trouser: pant
pant: an outer garment covering each leg separately and usually extending from the waist to the ankle
As you may have noticed, as I certainly did, slacks mentions nothing of denim or color. In fact, if we took this definition completely literally, jeans may even be allowed! However, they aren’t.
It’s not so much that I care about the fact that jeans may or may not be allowed according to the Handbook. It’s that the RA used the “fact” that “the rule book says no blue jeans.” No, it doesn’t. I’ve heard RAs misquote the rule book numerous times, and it bothers me that those in authority that are supposed to be enforcing the rules on us don’t even have a proper understanding of the rules they are to be enforcing. This is why I memorize parts of the rule book. Now I just wish someone would call me out when I actually have a good defense like today ...
RA Fail
11/25/08 01:18 PM Filed in: Stories
Dear RA Who Delivered
Demerits to the Gentleman Texting in the Balcony of
Chapel Yesterday:
My name is Alex Laird. You may have seen my picture here. You may notice that there’s a difference in appearance between that person and the person you gave demerits to yesterday in chapel who gave you my name as his own. That’s because that was my roommate, Dave.
I forget the state, but there was once a guy who was arrested for refusal to cooperate with a Police Officer. After being pulled over, the officer asked him to show him his Driver’s License and Insurance Identification. The man refused to show the cards, but diligently produced the numbers for each (including expiration date) for all forms of his identification. The officer again asked him to produce the materials. The man informed the officer that, by law, he was not required to produce the physical cards, all he was required to give the officer were the numbers. The officer could have just taken the numbers, written them down, and run them through system back in the squad car. Instead he arrested the man.
The case went to court. The man’s defense was that Police Officers should be required to know the laws in their own states. It’s true, you aren’t required to show your actual driver’s license (in certain states) if you can give them a valid number that they can look up; the officer didn’t know this, but the man who was pulled over did. The case was finally dropped because, well, the guy hadn’t done anything wrong. But he certainly proved his point. If the upholders of the law don’t even know all the laws they’re supposed to be upholding, what’s the point of having them uphold them?
Dave and I like to test RAs. It’s a sick fascination we have, I guess, taunting them by quoting from the rule book and weaseling our way out of demerits. I guess I don’t know the official procedure, but I would assume RAs are supposed to ask you for both your name and your identification number; at least, every one I’ve ever talked to always has. What are the odds you actually have a friend’s ID number memorized?
Yesterday, Ryan and I didn’t sit in the balcony of chapel. We sat down on the floor with Kristi for a change of pace. Dave still sat in the balcony. In the empty seats Ryan and I would have been, a Willets RA sat. Next to Dave. Who was texting (per usual). At the end of chapel, the RA informed Dave she was going to have to give him demerits for being inattentive. Though, let’s be honest, he was probably be more attentive than the majority of the rest of the students in chapel, right? Turkey Break starts tomorrow, let’s be honest. Out of spite toward Ryan and me for not sitting with him, Dave gave the RA my name instead of his own. She didn’t ask for his ID number.
These are, hands down, the bests demerits I ever will have received! Demerits take several weeks to process, usually, so I’m hoping they arrive in my Inbox before the end of the semester. I’ll be sure to post them on Facebook as soon as they do :)!
My name is Alex Laird. You may have seen my picture here. You may notice that there’s a difference in appearance between that person and the person you gave demerits to yesterday in chapel who gave you my name as his own. That’s because that was my roommate, Dave.
I forget the state, but there was once a guy who was arrested for refusal to cooperate with a Police Officer. After being pulled over, the officer asked him to show him his Driver’s License and Insurance Identification. The man refused to show the cards, but diligently produced the numbers for each (including expiration date) for all forms of his identification. The officer again asked him to produce the materials. The man informed the officer that, by law, he was not required to produce the physical cards, all he was required to give the officer were the numbers. The officer could have just taken the numbers, written them down, and run them through system back in the squad car. Instead he arrested the man.
The case went to court. The man’s defense was that Police Officers should be required to know the laws in their own states. It’s true, you aren’t required to show your actual driver’s license (in certain states) if you can give them a valid number that they can look up; the officer didn’t know this, but the man who was pulled over did. The case was finally dropped because, well, the guy hadn’t done anything wrong. But he certainly proved his point. If the upholders of the law don’t even know all the laws they’re supposed to be upholding, what’s the point of having them uphold them?
Dave and I like to test RAs. It’s a sick fascination we have, I guess, taunting them by quoting from the rule book and weaseling our way out of demerits. I guess I don’t know the official procedure, but I would assume RAs are supposed to ask you for both your name and your identification number; at least, every one I’ve ever talked to always has. What are the odds you actually have a friend’s ID number memorized?
Yesterday, Ryan and I didn’t sit in the balcony of chapel. We sat down on the floor with Kristi for a change of pace. Dave still sat in the balcony. In the empty seats Ryan and I would have been, a Willets RA sat. Next to Dave. Who was texting (per usual). At the end of chapel, the RA informed Dave she was going to have to give him demerits for being inattentive. Though, let’s be honest, he was probably be more attentive than the majority of the rest of the students in chapel, right? Turkey Break starts tomorrow, let’s be honest. Out of spite toward Ryan and me for not sitting with him, Dave gave the RA my name instead of his own. She didn’t ask for his ID number.
These are, hands down, the bests demerits I ever will have received! Demerits take several weeks to process, usually, so I’m hoping they arrive in my Inbox before the end of the semester. I’ll be sure to post them on Facebook as soon as they do :)!
Facebook Chat Friends and Soccer Players
11/25/08 11:00 AM Filed in: Stories
I was sitting in the
computer pit, outside The Hive, when I overheard the
following conversation. The names have been changed
to protect the innocent.
Soccer Jock 1: I got 120, man!
Soccer Jock 2: No way, dude! That’s awesome!
Soccer Jock 1: I’m serious. It almost didn’t happen, and I was so shocked when it did, but now I have the record.
Soccer Jock 2: That’s pretty sweet. So how did it happen?
Soccer Jock 1: Well, the old record was, like, 107. But I beat that by a landslide.
Soccer Jock 2: Yah?
Soccer Jock 1: Yah. Soccer Jock 3 and I were just sitting at my computer the other night, watching it go up. It was at 100, then it jumped up to 106, then it dropped down to 98. I didn’t think it was going to happen, and then, for a few seconds, it jumped to 120!
Soccer Jock 2: Nobody’s going to believe you, though.
Soccer Jock 1: No, dude, Soccer Jock 3 was there too! He saw it.
Soccer Jock 2: Well, at least you have a witness. That’s awesome.
Soccer Jock 1: Yah. So, now I have the record on the Soccer team for most friends on Facebook Chat at one time.
You, my friend, need to get a life. I have an idea. How about you go out and spend some time with a few of those 120 friends (who are clearly as anti-social as yourself) instead of sitting in your room hoping to get a record number of them to all sit down at their computers and sign onto Facebook at the same time. That’s just sad. What’s even more sad is that you’re having a competition over it with your Soccer team. You do know that most of the school scoffs at your arrogance, right? And this isn’t helping your case out much ...
I’m still not sure which is worse though: the Soccer team or the Baseball team. But this scenario definitely helped the Soccer team a lot of points against them.
Soccer Jock 1: I got 120, man!
Soccer Jock 2: No way, dude! That’s awesome!
Soccer Jock 1: I’m serious. It almost didn’t happen, and I was so shocked when it did, but now I have the record.
Soccer Jock 2: That’s pretty sweet. So how did it happen?
Soccer Jock 1: Well, the old record was, like, 107. But I beat that by a landslide.
Soccer Jock 2: Yah?
Soccer Jock 1: Yah. Soccer Jock 3 and I were just sitting at my computer the other night, watching it go up. It was at 100, then it jumped up to 106, then it dropped down to 98. I didn’t think it was going to happen, and then, for a few seconds, it jumped to 120!
Soccer Jock 2: Nobody’s going to believe you, though.
Soccer Jock 1: No, dude, Soccer Jock 3 was there too! He saw it.
Soccer Jock 2: Well, at least you have a witness. That’s awesome.
Soccer Jock 1: Yah. So, now I have the record on the Soccer team for most friends on Facebook Chat at one time.
You, my friend, need to get a life. I have an idea. How about you go out and spend some time with a few of those 120 friends (who are clearly as anti-social as yourself) instead of sitting in your room hoping to get a record number of them to all sit down at their computers and sign onto Facebook at the same time. That’s just sad. What’s even more sad is that you’re having a competition over it with your Soccer team. You do know that most of the school scoffs at your arrogance, right? And this isn’t helping your case out much ...
I’m still not sure which is worse though: the Soccer team or the Baseball team. But this scenario definitely helped the Soccer team a lot of points against them.
Please Stop Breaking Up In Awkward Places
11/24/08 04:55 PM Filed in: Stories
There I was, wandering
the SSC in an attempt to find Kristi. The search was
in vain, I now realize, because she was in Chuck’s; I
place I didn’t plan on looking. (Why are you eating
now? I still don’t understand. It’s before 5:00.)
Okay, first side tangent. People at Cedarville eat at ridiculous hours! At home, I’m used to eating at normal and civilized hours such as 6:00 or 6:30. You know, after your Dad gets home from work? I come to Cedarville, and it took me several months of eating by myself before realizing if I wanted company when I ate Dinner that I’d have to eat when I wasn’t hungry. Ridiculously early times such as 5:00 and 5:30. And, apparently, not 4:30. I didn’t even know Chuck’s opened that early.
But that’s not even really part of my story. My story involves breaking up. I went through The Hive, checked my mail (again), and finally decided she was nowhere to be found and that I would sit on one of the comfy couches by the computers underneath the stairs. As I approached said area with comfy couches, I noticed an Awkward Lounge Couple. Except this Awkward Lounge Couple was exceptionally awkward. They weren’t in a lounge either. They were in a coat room. The coat room by the bookstore. This seemed a strange place for a couple to be hanging, albeit I’ve seen stranger and more disturbing in my day.
Turns out this couple wasn’t just hanging. Oh no. The Awkward Lounge Couple seemed to be having a DTR, and it wasn’t the good kind of DTR. It appeared to be one of those “We aren’t an R anymore” sort of DTRs. It had all the tell-tale signs of breakupness. Guys head hung in shame. Guy still remaining to sit awkwardly close to girl, even though she was clearly trying to get away. Girl looking far too pleased with herself considering the guys extremely depressed expression. Guys hands folded in his lap. Guy on the verge of crying. Girl sort of doing that weird try-to-touch-his-arm-without-actually-touching-his-arm sort of thing to reassure him/not give him false hope at the same time.
It was just really awkward. And to add to things, it was in a coat room. On uncomfortable chairs that were stacked in the coat room. (Yes, the guy was actually sitting on said stack of chairs, feet not touching the ground.)
So, Cedarville couples, please stop breaking up in public places. This is at least the third public breakup I’ve seen this year. Lounges are just awkward places, not only for the other person involved in the breakup, but also for everyone else in the lounge ... Especially for everyone else in the lounge. This couple seemed to be making an effort to stay out of the lounges and opted for a coat closet. Really, that’s not any better. Not only was it close to a lounge anyway, it’s ... It’s a coat closet! I can’t say anything else about this. I’m too weirded out.
Okay, first side tangent. People at Cedarville eat at ridiculous hours! At home, I’m used to eating at normal and civilized hours such as 6:00 or 6:30. You know, after your Dad gets home from work? I come to Cedarville, and it took me several months of eating by myself before realizing if I wanted company when I ate Dinner that I’d have to eat when I wasn’t hungry. Ridiculously early times such as 5:00 and 5:30. And, apparently, not 4:30. I didn’t even know Chuck’s opened that early.
But that’s not even really part of my story. My story involves breaking up. I went through The Hive, checked my mail (again), and finally decided she was nowhere to be found and that I would sit on one of the comfy couches by the computers underneath the stairs. As I approached said area with comfy couches, I noticed an Awkward Lounge Couple. Except this Awkward Lounge Couple was exceptionally awkward. They weren’t in a lounge either. They were in a coat room. The coat room by the bookstore. This seemed a strange place for a couple to be hanging, albeit I’ve seen stranger and more disturbing in my day.
Turns out this couple wasn’t just hanging. Oh no. The Awkward Lounge Couple seemed to be having a DTR, and it wasn’t the good kind of DTR. It appeared to be one of those “We aren’t an R anymore” sort of DTRs. It had all the tell-tale signs of breakupness. Guys head hung in shame. Guy still remaining to sit awkwardly close to girl, even though she was clearly trying to get away. Girl looking far too pleased with herself considering the guys extremely depressed expression. Guys hands folded in his lap. Guy on the verge of crying. Girl sort of doing that weird try-to-touch-his-arm-without-actually-touching-his-arm sort of thing to reassure him/not give him false hope at the same time.
It was just really awkward. And to add to things, it was in a coat room. On uncomfortable chairs that were stacked in the coat room. (Yes, the guy was actually sitting on said stack of chairs, feet not touching the ground.)
So, Cedarville couples, please stop breaking up in public places. This is at least the third public breakup I’ve seen this year. Lounges are just awkward places, not only for the other person involved in the breakup, but also for everyone else in the lounge ... Especially for everyone else in the lounge. This couple seemed to be making an effort to stay out of the lounges and opted for a coat closet. Really, that’s not any better. Not only was it close to a lounge anyway, it’s ... It’s a coat closet! I can’t say anything else about this. I’m too weirded out.
My Icky and Cold Morning
11/19/08 10:32 AM Filed in: Indiscriminate
This morning, as I left
my dorm room and headed to work, the temperature was
below 25 degrees, and I shudder to even
speculate at what the wind chill was.
That being said, I was forced to don my coat, gloves, and soft hat this morning, even though they didn't match the rest of my outfit. It's a sad day when I'm forced to bust out the coat ...
That being said, I was forced to don my coat, gloves, and soft hat this morning, even though they didn't match the rest of my outfit. It's a sad day when I'm forced to bust out the coat ...
I Am Alex's Inability to Concentrate
11/18/08 08:27 PM Filed in: Indiscriminate
I have an Old Testament
exam I should be studying for. You can’t blame me too
much for not studying right now. I’m in class right
now learning about Binary Search Trees and balancing
an AVL Tree. The classroom is too warm, and the
weather outside is too cold. Somewhere trapped
between the two extremes is my inability to think
straight and the cause of my obnoxious sweating. Like
most rooms at Cedarville, this one is filled with
distractions. There’s the huge windows which allow me
to look down toward the Milner and Tyler buildings.
There’s that comfy and hideous couch in the corner
which no one ever sits in and everyone wonders why
it’s even in the room. There’s my notebook paper,
which can easily be shredded into a million pieces
throughout the course of a class period; it’s amazing
how many ways you can rip a small piece of paper.
Then, of course, there’s my laptop, which is an
infinite source of distraction. Although it’s not
necessarily all these distractions that are the
source of my inability to focus. They just feed it
when it’s hungry.
I am Alex’s inability to concentrate. Merely a child of his ADD mind and obsessive compulsive characteristics. I’m the reason he counts his steps. I’m the reason he over thinks every situation. I’m the reason he studies minute details that nobody else notices. I’m the reason he walks in syncopation with the music on his headphones. And in a contrasting sort of way, I’m the reason he can’t concentrate on nothing and fall asleep at night.
I make him run potential conversations over in his head, taking every possibly path the conversation might take, traversing every possible scenario even past the point of literal and ethical standards. And I’m also the reason he forgets all the scenarios when finally presented with the aforementioned conversation. I scatter his thoughts and make him forget the sentences he had so carefully constructed.
I’m the reason he taps his foot, shakes his arm, or twitches his hand when most people sit still. I’m the cause of his intermittent thought patterns. I’m the cause of his dazing off, staring at nothing for minutes on end. And I extend far beyond his academic life.
I probably make him feel crazy most of the time, but that’s my job. I’m just doing what I’m meant to do.
I am Alex’s inability to concentrate. Merely a child of his ADD mind and obsessive compulsive characteristics. I’m the reason he counts his steps. I’m the reason he over thinks every situation. I’m the reason he studies minute details that nobody else notices. I’m the reason he walks in syncopation with the music on his headphones. And in a contrasting sort of way, I’m the reason he can’t concentrate on nothing and fall asleep at night.
I make him run potential conversations over in his head, taking every possibly path the conversation might take, traversing every possible scenario even past the point of literal and ethical standards. And I’m also the reason he forgets all the scenarios when finally presented with the aforementioned conversation. I scatter his thoughts and make him forget the sentences he had so carefully constructed.
I’m the reason he taps his foot, shakes his arm, or twitches his hand when most people sit still. I’m the cause of his intermittent thought patterns. I’m the cause of his dazing off, staring at nothing for minutes on end. And I extend far beyond his academic life.
I probably make him feel crazy most of the time, but that’s my job. I’m just doing what I’m meant to do.
I Know You Were Texting in Chapel
11/14/08 03:28 PM Filed in: Stories
| Technology
That’s right, I know
everything. But don’t worry, I won’t turn you in for
it. I do it all the time.
Who was in chapel this morning, can I see a show of hands? Well, someone was texting in chapel this morning; someone who uses AT&T, and I can almost prove it.
AT&T has got a few things going for them these days, namely the iPhone and their amazing 3G network. While 3G is awesome, here’s the biggest problem with it. It has such high bandwidth data transfer that the signal frequently interferes with surrounding signals. I’ve also heard, though this is not confirmed, that AT&T text messaging uses some sort of an interface that interferes specifically with Bluetooth devices, which your laptop and most computers probably have.
My roommate has a phone that is powered by AT&T. I can predict, almost with perfect accuracy, when he’s going to get a text message before his phone even buzzes. We’ll be sitting in our room, he watching TV, me at my desk doing who-knows-what, and the speakers to our dorm computer will start to sputter, making a staccato style “daaaa-ta-ka-daaa-ta-ka-daaa-ta-ka-daaaaa” sound over and over. “Dave, you’re getting a text.” Seconds later, his phone buzzes.
So, remember that loud and obnoxious “daaaa-ta-ka-daaa-ta-ka-daaa-ta-ka-daaaaa” that we heard blasting over the sound system this morning, interrupting Dr. Brown as he was recognizing our Grandparents? There’s an extremely high chance (I’d say ... 90%) that the cause of that was someone in chapel receiving a text message on the AT&T network.
Who was in chapel this morning, can I see a show of hands? Well, someone was texting in chapel this morning; someone who uses AT&T, and I can almost prove it.
AT&T has got a few things going for them these days, namely the iPhone and their amazing 3G network. While 3G is awesome, here’s the biggest problem with it. It has such high bandwidth data transfer that the signal frequently interferes with surrounding signals. I’ve also heard, though this is not confirmed, that AT&T text messaging uses some sort of an interface that interferes specifically with Bluetooth devices, which your laptop and most computers probably have.
My roommate has a phone that is powered by AT&T. I can predict, almost with perfect accuracy, when he’s going to get a text message before his phone even buzzes. We’ll be sitting in our room, he watching TV, me at my desk doing who-knows-what, and the speakers to our dorm computer will start to sputter, making a staccato style “daaaa-ta-ka-daaa-ta-ka-daaa-ta-ka-daaaaa” sound over and over. “Dave, you’re getting a text.” Seconds later, his phone buzzes.
So, remember that loud and obnoxious “daaaa-ta-ka-daaa-ta-ka-daaa-ta-ka-daaaaa” that we heard blasting over the sound system this morning, interrupting Dr. Brown as he was recognizing our Grandparents? There’s an extremely high chance (I’d say ... 90%) that the cause of that was someone in chapel receiving a text message on the AT&T network.
New Posts On Dave and Alex's Happy Fun-Time Blog
11/13/08 09:50 PM Filed in: Indiscriminate
Since I have yet to
take the time to route the Dave and Alex’s Happy
Fun-Time Blog RSS feed into this blog, I’ll just have
to include links to my most recent posts on the blog.
Here you go.
Things I’ve Seen, Pt. 3
Things I’ve Seen, Pt. 4
Things I’ve Heard, Pt. 2
Read up. I strongly suggest Things I’ve Heard, Pt. 2, which relates to recent ridiculous comments on the election. Gotta love ‘em!
Things I’ve Seen, Pt. 3
Things I’ve Seen, Pt. 4
Things I’ve Heard, Pt. 2
Read up. I strongly suggest Things I’ve Heard, Pt. 2, which relates to recent ridiculous comments on the election. Gotta love ‘em!
Another Cedarville Experience
It’s been a long week.
Lost somewhere in exams, papers, and projects is my
sleep. I’m not complaining or saying it’s a bad week,
time just seems to be moving very slowly.
Yesterday, I woke up early to go to work, as usual for a Wednesday. I left work a bit early so I could lay my head on the desk in class for a few minutes before it started. That never actually happened, because as I sat in my comfy rolly chair, Nathan walked up to our row and asked if anyone was sitting in the chair to my right. It was empty, so he sat down.
Dr. Miller, the professor who teaches multiple sections of Old Testament Literature, a class of several hundred students, tore his Achilles Tendon a couple months ago, and he’s had to hobble around in a cast with crutches since then. A hard thing to do for a man who loves to walk up and down the aisles of his class while he teaches. I think he was in an exceptionally good mood yesterday, as it appeared he didn’t have the cast on at all anymore and he was walking up and down the aisles before class started.
Nathan has a travel mug that he had sitting on the desk. Dr. Miller walked up to our row and picked Nathan’s mug.
“It’s not even full,” he commented.
“No, I already drank most of it this morning,” Nathan replied.
“You could go fill it up outside.”
“That’s right!” I jutted in, “they have that stand out there now!”
Usually I would have had to walk all the way back to the SSC, and I was in the Bible building, so that was just too far of a walk. But they have a coffee stand in the atrium of the Bible building that I had totally forgotten about! I reached towards my bag before realizing I didn’t have my travel mug with me today; I had taken it out of my bag the day prior.
“Aw, nuts, I don’t have my mug.” My dismay was evident.
“You could just get one of the cups they have out there,” Dr. Miller suggested. “Here, do you need a dollar?”
“Are you serious?”
Apparently he was, because he reached for his wallet, pulled out a dollar, and handed it to me. “I am so getting a cup of coffee then!” I leapt up from my chair and ran out of the classroom, off to get my Sumatra coffee.
It could have been that Dr. Miller was in an exceptionally good mood due to the lack of a cast on his ankle. It could have been that it was incredibly obvious how tired I was and that he wanted me to stay awake in his class. It could have been that he felt guilty because he still hasn’t followed up on our coffee date which we agreed to last year ... And the beginning of this year. But I like to think that, had all the previous elements been missing, he still would have handed me a dollar. That’s just how Dr. Miller is.
Which brings me to my main point: that’s how Cedarville is. When people ask me what my favorite thing about Cedarville is, or why they should come (or transfer) here, I always tell them to same thing: the professors. Sure, the social atmosphere is awesome as well, and that’s a huge part of college, but the purpose of college is to study and learn, so professors are pretty important, I’d say. And when you’re paying ... Well ... A lot of money for a better education, there had better be some reason you’re paying that much more.
It’s not uncommon to visit your professor’s house, or your advisor’s, or the head of your department’s. The professors here don’t just try to shuffle you through their class with a passing grade, they’re actually interested in whether you’re learning properly. They’re also interested in your personal life, and I’ve had numerous professors offer to pray for me or help me in any way they can.
It’s not always just little things like offering a dollar for coffee though. Last year, I was in a class of about eighty people. For every section this professor taught, he had all the students over to his house to enjoy a home cooked meal after the Final by his lovely wife. Around the time of the final, one of my fellow classmate’s parents died. Obviously, the professor allowed them to go home and take the Final at a later time. That wasn’t all the professor did though. He actually bought the student a plane ticket home as well so they wouldn’t have to drive.
Whether it’s a genuine interest in the personal life of their students, a willingness to serve them in any way possible, or simply a dollar to wake a student up in their class, it’s evident that the professors at Cedarville care about you and your academic career. And, while buying a plane ticket for a student is a pretty awesome thing to do, that doesn’t lessen the meaning of “little” things at all. That coffee basically saved my life this morning. Thanks, Dr. Miller!
That’s just one of the many reasons I love Cedarville.
Yesterday, I woke up early to go to work, as usual for a Wednesday. I left work a bit early so I could lay my head on the desk in class for a few minutes before it started. That never actually happened, because as I sat in my comfy rolly chair, Nathan walked up to our row and asked if anyone was sitting in the chair to my right. It was empty, so he sat down.
Dr. Miller, the professor who teaches multiple sections of Old Testament Literature, a class of several hundred students, tore his Achilles Tendon a couple months ago, and he’s had to hobble around in a cast with crutches since then. A hard thing to do for a man who loves to walk up and down the aisles of his class while he teaches. I think he was in an exceptionally good mood yesterday, as it appeared he didn’t have the cast on at all anymore and he was walking up and down the aisles before class started.
Nathan has a travel mug that he had sitting on the desk. Dr. Miller walked up to our row and picked Nathan’s mug.
“It’s not even full,” he commented.
“No, I already drank most of it this morning,” Nathan replied.
“You could go fill it up outside.”
“That’s right!” I jutted in, “they have that stand out there now!”
Usually I would have had to walk all the way back to the SSC, and I was in the Bible building, so that was just too far of a walk. But they have a coffee stand in the atrium of the Bible building that I had totally forgotten about! I reached towards my bag before realizing I didn’t have my travel mug with me today; I had taken it out of my bag the day prior.
“Aw, nuts, I don’t have my mug.” My dismay was evident.
“You could just get one of the cups they have out there,” Dr. Miller suggested. “Here, do you need a dollar?”
“Are you serious?”
Apparently he was, because he reached for his wallet, pulled out a dollar, and handed it to me. “I am so getting a cup of coffee then!” I leapt up from my chair and ran out of the classroom, off to get my Sumatra coffee.
It could have been that Dr. Miller was in an exceptionally good mood due to the lack of a cast on his ankle. It could have been that it was incredibly obvious how tired I was and that he wanted me to stay awake in his class. It could have been that he felt guilty because he still hasn’t followed up on our coffee date which we agreed to last year ... And the beginning of this year. But I like to think that, had all the previous elements been missing, he still would have handed me a dollar. That’s just how Dr. Miller is.
Which brings me to my main point: that’s how Cedarville is. When people ask me what my favorite thing about Cedarville is, or why they should come (or transfer) here, I always tell them to same thing: the professors. Sure, the social atmosphere is awesome as well, and that’s a huge part of college, but the purpose of college is to study and learn, so professors are pretty important, I’d say. And when you’re paying ... Well ... A lot of money for a better education, there had better be some reason you’re paying that much more.
It’s not uncommon to visit your professor’s house, or your advisor’s, or the head of your department’s. The professors here don’t just try to shuffle you through their class with a passing grade, they’re actually interested in whether you’re learning properly. They’re also interested in your personal life, and I’ve had numerous professors offer to pray for me or help me in any way they can.
It’s not always just little things like offering a dollar for coffee though. Last year, I was in a class of about eighty people. For every section this professor taught, he had all the students over to his house to enjoy a home cooked meal after the Final by his lovely wife. Around the time of the final, one of my fellow classmate’s parents died. Obviously, the professor allowed them to go home and take the Final at a later time. That wasn’t all the professor did though. He actually bought the student a plane ticket home as well so they wouldn’t have to drive.
Whether it’s a genuine interest in the personal life of their students, a willingness to serve them in any way possible, or simply a dollar to wake a student up in their class, it’s evident that the professors at Cedarville care about you and your academic career. And, while buying a plane ticket for a student is a pretty awesome thing to do, that doesn’t lessen the meaning of “little” things at all. That coffee basically saved my life this morning. Thanks, Dr. Miller!
That’s just one of the many reasons I love Cedarville.
Cotton Balls and Cramps
I was never really good
at Chemistry. Better at it than at Biology, but still
not exceptional. Granted, I earned an A when I took
Chemistry in college, but this was from Kirkwood,
which doesn’t have the highest academic prestige, so
the A was easily achieved without completely
understanding the material ... The same goes for
Biology, which I also took there and received a B+.
That being said, I may not have the fullest
understanding of acids and bases and things breaking
down. (In fact, if the previous sentence really makes
no sense, that’s probably why ... I was just trying
to throw the words out to sound intelligent.)
I’m also the type of person that, if you tell me to do something (you don’t even have to dare me, really) and it’s not against my morals and doesn’t seem to have the potential to cause a fatality, I’ll probably do it. I’m always up for checking off experiences from my “Things To Do Before I Die” list. I guess that’s why I have black nails right now ...
Last night, we celebrated the Finnish holiday of Pyhäinpäivä (PUH-HAH-IN-PIE-VAH). The American equivalent would be All Saints’ Day, but while All Saints’ Day is always on November 1st, Pyhäinpäivä is on the first Saturday between October 31st and November 6th. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Last night wasn’t Saturday. That is very perceptive of you. We just realized this morning that Griffin actually gave us the wrong day to celebrated the beloved holiday of our ancestors, but we will try to forgive him. But since we didn’t get to celebrate Pyhäinpäivä last Saturday, we decided to celebrate it last night, the 6th, by watching The Office and performing several Finnish traditions with a large group of people.
It was a fantastic turnout. We had seventeen people show up to a celebration that they had never even heard of. During the commercial breaks of The Office, we muted the volume and partook together in the Finnish festivities we had planned just an hour before the party started. Such festivities included, but were not limited to the following:
I offered Ryan a rolly-polly baby Panda for Christmas, Shannon performed the interpretive dance, we sang Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in memory of King Valdemar, and I happened to be the oldest male present. So I ate a cotton ball. Not just any cotton ball, mind you, but probably the largest one in the bag; it was dark and I just reached in and grabbed one, but it happened to be enormous. After mustering up all my gumption, I stuck the cotton ball in my mouth and started salivating to get it wet enough to slide down my throat. It took me quite a while, but finally I tried swallowing. It got stuck half way. I grabbed the nearest cup of Mountain Dew and forced the cotton ball the remainder of the way into my stomach. There was much rejoicing, and I took my seat again as The Office came back on.
Had I paid closer attention in my aforementioned Community College classes, I might have known that the acids in your stomach can’t actually break down cotton for some reason (which leaves me thoroughly unimpressed with my own stomach), and I may have been more wary of eating a cotton ball. As it was, I simply thought it would digest and there would be no problems.
This morning I woke up with horrendous cramps (on top of an already very upset stomach) and a terrible headache. I tried sitting up in bed, but that seemed to hurt too much, so I just laid there for a very long time, eventually skipping my first class.
So let this be a lesson to all of you! I know Buddy eats cotton balls in Elf, and it looks like fun and that he doesn’t suffer any consequences from his actions, but trust me ... He does! Your stomach, intestines, and basically any part of your digestive tract don’t get along well with cotton balls.
See what you missed out on last night, Jon McGill?
I’m also the type of person that, if you tell me to do something (you don’t even have to dare me, really) and it’s not against my morals and doesn’t seem to have the potential to cause a fatality, I’ll probably do it. I’m always up for checking off experiences from my “Things To Do Before I Die” list. I guess that’s why I have black nails right now ...
Last night, we celebrated the Finnish holiday of Pyhäinpäivä (PUH-HAH-IN-PIE-VAH). The American equivalent would be All Saints’ Day, but while All Saints’ Day is always on November 1st, Pyhäinpäivä is on the first Saturday between October 31st and November 6th. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Last night wasn’t Saturday. That is very perceptive of you. We just realized this morning that Griffin actually gave us the wrong day to celebrated the beloved holiday of our ancestors, but we will try to forgive him. But since we didn’t get to celebrate Pyhäinpäivä last Saturday, we decided to celebrate it last night, the 6th, by watching The Office and performing several Finnish traditions with a large group of people.
It was a fantastic turnout. We had seventeen people show up to a celebration that they had never even heard of. During the commercial breaks of The Office, we muted the volume and partook together in the Finnish festivities we had planned just an hour before the party started. Such festivities included, but were not limited to the following:
- As is custom, the host must advise all invited guests to bring their own eggs. At the celebration of Pyhäinpäivä, all guests must laugh at anyone who actually brings their own eggs. This ceremony is in commemoration of King Albert’s (of Mecklenburg) practice of sending out edicts via carrier chicken.
- The oldest male must eat a cotton ball in memory of our ancestors that, in the Finnish blight of 1728, had to ingest their bedding and pillows to survive.
- All guests must pass the flaming grease cup. This symbolizes the flame of unity and also reminds us of an old Finnish legend in which a crew of sailors were caught at sea during a long December. The crew was forced to burn their stores of bacon and butter for warmth to survive and was able to outlast the winter. The cup of grease must be passed counterclockwise, each person saying to the person to their right what they would give them for Christmas, if they could give them anything.
- One volunteer, or victim chosen at random if no one should volunteer, must perform the traditional Finnish dance to keep the spirits at bay for the coming year. Since the traditional Finnish dance has long since been forgotten, the volunteer must improvise interpretively. The person must volunteer without knowing what they are agreeing to do, thus symbolizing the stark bravery of Finnish dancers.
- A song must be sung to commemorate the coronation of King Valdemar of the house of Bjelbo. The original melody has long since been forgotten, so any song that is well known, radio-worthy, and at least nine years old may be sung. And, in light of King Valdemar’s decree regarding the Great Minstrel Hunt of 1264, the song must be sung a capella by all guests present.
- There was a chicken virus that went around in Finland in 1355. At that time, whenever someone ate anything made out of eggs, they weren’t sure if the egg had been infected or not. The chance taken in eating things made with eggs is represented by a game of chance referred to as “Never Have I Ever” or, in Finnish, “Koskaan Olen Koskaan.” All guests must form a circle, placing an egg on the group in front of them. One person says something that they have never done, and anyone in the circle who has done that thing must spin their egg. If the egg stops spinning while it is pointing at the person who spun it, they are officially out of the game. The last person remaining collects all the eggs at the end of the game.
- The Finnish are known especially for two things: Their love of unity and friendship, and their exception hip-grabbing ability. To celebrate, all members present must participate in an impromptu conga line from the party’s locale to the nearest seller of overpriced goods, through their place of business, and back to the party.
I offered Ryan a rolly-polly baby Panda for Christmas, Shannon performed the interpretive dance, we sang Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in memory of King Valdemar, and I happened to be the oldest male present. So I ate a cotton ball. Not just any cotton ball, mind you, but probably the largest one in the bag; it was dark and I just reached in and grabbed one, but it happened to be enormous. After mustering up all my gumption, I stuck the cotton ball in my mouth and started salivating to get it wet enough to slide down my throat. It took me quite a while, but finally I tried swallowing. It got stuck half way. I grabbed the nearest cup of Mountain Dew and forced the cotton ball the remainder of the way into my stomach. There was much rejoicing, and I took my seat again as The Office came back on.
Had I paid closer attention in my aforementioned Community College classes, I might have known that the acids in your stomach can’t actually break down cotton for some reason (which leaves me thoroughly unimpressed with my own stomach), and I may have been more wary of eating a cotton ball. As it was, I simply thought it would digest and there would be no problems.
This morning I woke up with horrendous cramps (on top of an already very upset stomach) and a terrible headache. I tried sitting up in bed, but that seemed to hurt too much, so I just laid there for a very long time, eventually skipping my first class.
So let this be a lesson to all of you! I know Buddy eats cotton balls in Elf, and it looks like fun and that he doesn’t suffer any consequences from his actions, but trust me ... He does! Your stomach, intestines, and basically any part of your digestive tract don’t get along well with cotton balls.
See what you missed out on last night, Jon McGill?
Suspicious Package Found at Cedarville
Cedarville University
seems to have made it into the papers again. This
story is almost as amazing as the
Climate of Fear article reported a while back (the
parody of which, Climate of
Beer, was even better).
Apparently this is all they could find to report on ...
Here’s the situation: A suspicious packaged is found on campus by a staff member and is reported to the proper authorities. The bomb squad is apparently the proper authorities on such matters. The package is properly disposed of, Cedarville is in the news.
Let’s try to put this into a proper perspective ... So, you’re walking through the DMC, thinking of the best way to inform your class that the highest grade was a 79%, but it still doesn’t reflect your teaching (somehow), and you see a small, brown box off in a dark corner. I don’t know about you, but if that were me, I would first give my students a major curve because my exam sucked. Secondly, I would not assume the box was a bomb. This is Cedarville. Clearly there’s a legitimate explanation for the “suspicious” package. I’m not sure if the box looked at the staff member ominously, or if it just straight up said, “This Is Suspicious” on the front, but unless one of those two things is true (and believe me, a box with eyes is a cause for concern), I don’t think Campus Safety needs to get involved. Hey, but on the bright side, you now have an excuse to cancel class.
This evidently just goes to show how little Campus Safety really has to do, and how tired they are of simply handing out Parking Violations. They took this as their time to shine. The last time that happened was ... Sheesh ... With the Cadillitic Converters being randomly stolen off cars last year! So, Campus Safety gets this report of a suspicious package, goes to check it out, finds that it’s a harmless brown box, moves it to, of all places, the driving range on the outskirts of campus, and ... Calls Hazmat. Then they send out a campus wide email informing us they have the situation under control.
Good. Because we all were aware of the situation and very concerned. Of course, Cedarville being the small campus that it is, and not already having enough female gossip to go around, everyone starts talking about the package.
Of course, you can’t have a suspicious package without the news getting involved. So the nightly news came to campus to interview people and do a report on it. They decided to run it as a “bomb threat”, which I think should have meant we didn’t have school the next day, but we did. It wasn’t a bomb threat. It was a suspicious package. There was never even really talk of a bomb, except that the bomb squad was here ... Minor details.
So, what was in the package, anyway? Well, after the campus wide email regarding the suspicious package went out, a group of students who had placed the package (as suspiciously as possible, apparently) decided to come forward and admit their crime. They had placed the box in the DMC as part of a scavenger. I’m guessing it was the final prize. It contained a box of chocolates. After the group of students came forward, Campus Safety and the Bomb Squad turned the investigation over to local authorities. I’m not sure what that means, but if those guys are prosecuted for a scavenger hunt, they you know Cedarville has too much time on its hands!
But just think, if the staff member had just quietly taken the box with him or her, he or she could have had that entire box of chocolates to themselves, and no one would have been the wiser, and the people participating in the scavenger hunt would have felt severely shafted. Finders keepers.
Apparently this is all they could find to report on ...
Here’s the situation: A suspicious packaged is found on campus by a staff member and is reported to the proper authorities. The bomb squad is apparently the proper authorities on such matters. The package is properly disposed of, Cedarville is in the news.
Let’s try to put this into a proper perspective ... So, you’re walking through the DMC, thinking of the best way to inform your class that the highest grade was a 79%, but it still doesn’t reflect your teaching (somehow), and you see a small, brown box off in a dark corner. I don’t know about you, but if that were me, I would first give my students a major curve because my exam sucked. Secondly, I would not assume the box was a bomb. This is Cedarville. Clearly there’s a legitimate explanation for the “suspicious” package. I’m not sure if the box looked at the staff member ominously, or if it just straight up said, “This Is Suspicious” on the front, but unless one of those two things is true (and believe me, a box with eyes is a cause for concern), I don’t think Campus Safety needs to get involved. Hey, but on the bright side, you now have an excuse to cancel class.
This evidently just goes to show how little Campus Safety really has to do, and how tired they are of simply handing out Parking Violations. They took this as their time to shine. The last time that happened was ... Sheesh ... With the Cadillitic Converters being randomly stolen off cars last year! So, Campus Safety gets this report of a suspicious package, goes to check it out, finds that it’s a harmless brown box, moves it to, of all places, the driving range on the outskirts of campus, and ... Calls Hazmat. Then they send out a campus wide email informing us they have the situation under control.
Good. Because we all were aware of the situation and very concerned. Of course, Cedarville being the small campus that it is, and not already having enough female gossip to go around, everyone starts talking about the package.
Of course, you can’t have a suspicious package without the news getting involved. So the nightly news came to campus to interview people and do a report on it. They decided to run it as a “bomb threat”, which I think should have meant we didn’t have school the next day, but we did. It wasn’t a bomb threat. It was a suspicious package. There was never even really talk of a bomb, except that the bomb squad was here ... Minor details.
So, what was in the package, anyway? Well, after the campus wide email regarding the suspicious package went out, a group of students who had placed the package (as suspiciously as possible, apparently) decided to come forward and admit their crime. They had placed the box in the DMC as part of a scavenger. I’m guessing it was the final prize. It contained a box of chocolates. After the group of students came forward, Campus Safety and the Bomb Squad turned the investigation over to local authorities. I’m not sure what that means, but if those guys are prosecuted for a scavenger hunt, they you know Cedarville has too much time on its hands!
But just think, if the staff member had just quietly taken the box with him or her, he or she could have had that entire box of chocolates to themselves, and no one would have been the wiser, and the people participating in the scavenger hunt would have felt severely shafted. Finders keepers.
Using Apple Mail (Specifically) At Cedarville
10/17/08 01:17 AM Filed in: Academia
| Technology
Sorry, I know, this is
the second blog post about mostly the same thing. But
I’ve found a better way to do it, and it didn’t seem
beneficial to simply erase my old blog post. But this
one won’t include pictures, it’s just a general
overview of what I think is a far more simplistic way
to combine your Cedarville email address with your
personal email address. I’ll use Apple Mail as the
third-party client of choice this time. (I know, it’s
not cross-platform like Thunderbird ... Deal.) You’ll
also need a Gmail account.
If you already have a Gmail account, skip this step.
You’ll need to register for a Gmail account here. Under the Accounts tab of Settings in your Gmail account, you’ll need to import your other email account via POP3. (Instructions for your POP3 settings should be provided by your email service.)
Now, after you’ve got a Gmail account (or if you already had a Gmail account), you’ll need to import your Cedarville email account as an additional POP3 account to your Gmail Inbox. You can do this the same way listed above, using the following POP3 information for Cedarville’s mail server:
Username: myusername@cedarville.edu
Password: mypassword
Server: pop.cedarville.edu
Port: 110
I shouldn’t have to say this, but obviously you should put your own username and password in ... Not the above. For convenience sake, you can check “Leave a copy of retrieved message on the server” and “Label incoming messages: myusername@cedarville.edu”.
You now have all your email accounts in one place. However, it’s in a browser-based environment; you can only get to it when an internet connection is present. If you would like to retrieve it all through Apple Mail, all you need do is open Apple Mail and add an account. The newest version of Apple Mail knows instinctively how to setup a Gmail account, so all you’ll need to do is provide your Gmail username and password. The rest is done automatically.
Back in Gmail, if you want to be able to send mail from you Cedarville account through Gmail (only in browser mode ... Not from Apple Mail ... Sorry), you’ll need to add yet another server through Settings-->Accounts in Gmail. All you need do in this case is add your Cedarville email address as a “Send Mail As” account, check your Cedarville account, follow the link provided in that email, and voila, you can send email from your Cedarville account through your Gmail account.
And all this is free :).
There’s one more treat. In Apple Mail, your email will always be sent from Gmail, not Cedarville. There is a way to send mail from your Cedarville account the Apple Mail, but it’s kind of pointless. But guess what, you can get the GroupWise address book via LDAP into your Apple Addressbook. Here’s how:
In Apple Mail, go to Preferences. Click on the Composing tab. Click “Configure LDAP ...” Add a new LDAP server with the following information:
Name: Cedarville
Server: imap.cedarville.edu
Port: 389
Search Base: o=cedarnet1
Scope: Subtree
Now, when composing a message, you can start typing any name (you’ll need to wait a bit) and it will search the GroupWise address book and return any matches. It works pretty well :).
Enjoy.
If you already have a Gmail account, skip this step.
You’ll need to register for a Gmail account here. Under the Accounts tab of Settings in your Gmail account, you’ll need to import your other email account via POP3. (Instructions for your POP3 settings should be provided by your email service.)
Now, after you’ve got a Gmail account (or if you already had a Gmail account), you’ll need to import your Cedarville email account as an additional POP3 account to your Gmail Inbox. You can do this the same way listed above, using the following POP3 information for Cedarville’s mail server:
Username: myusername@cedarville.edu
Password: mypassword
Server: pop.cedarville.edu
Port: 110
I shouldn’t have to say this, but obviously you should put your own username and password in ... Not the above. For convenience sake, you can check “Leave a copy of retrieved message on the server” and “Label incoming messages: myusername@cedarville.edu”.
You now have all your email accounts in one place. However, it’s in a browser-based environment; you can only get to it when an internet connection is present. If you would like to retrieve it all through Apple Mail, all you need do is open Apple Mail and add an account. The newest version of Apple Mail knows instinctively how to setup a Gmail account, so all you’ll need to do is provide your Gmail username and password. The rest is done automatically.
Back in Gmail, if you want to be able to send mail from you Cedarville account through Gmail (only in browser mode ... Not from Apple Mail ... Sorry), you’ll need to add yet another server through Settings-->Accounts in Gmail. All you need do in this case is add your Cedarville email address as a “Send Mail As” account, check your Cedarville account, follow the link provided in that email, and voila, you can send email from your Cedarville account through your Gmail account.
And all this is free :).
There’s one more treat. In Apple Mail, your email will always be sent from Gmail, not Cedarville. There is a way to send mail from your Cedarville account the Apple Mail, but it’s kind of pointless. But guess what, you can get the GroupWise address book via LDAP into your Apple Addressbook. Here’s how:
In Apple Mail, go to Preferences. Click on the Composing tab. Click “Configure LDAP ...” Add a new LDAP server with the following information:
Name: Cedarville
Server: imap.cedarville.edu
Port: 389
Search Base: o=cedarnet1
Scope: Subtree
Now, when composing a message, you can start typing any name (you’ll need to wait a bit) and it will search the GroupWise address book and return any matches. It works pretty well :).
Enjoy.
Dave and Alex's Happy Fun-Time Blog
10/16/08 05:32 PM Filed in: Indiscriminate
Dave and I decided to
start a collaborative blog that’s probably more
awesome than anything else you may be reading, so you
should check it out.
Dave and Alex’s Happy Fun-Time Blog
Dave and Alex’s Happy Fun-Time Blog
How To: Use A Mail Client Besides GroupWise at Cedarville
10/02/08 08:01 PM Filed in: Academia
| Technology
Cedarville has this
thing ... Novell GroupWise. I don't mind Novell, but
it's not my favorite. It slows computers and networks
down. The problem is, when you have a campus with
thousands of comptuers on it, Novell is really the
best way to go as far as Networking Utilities go.
That doesn't mean you have to use their email client, GroupWise, though. But Cedarville says we do. Ick. So, a few nights ago, I set out to find the servers that Cedarville stores emails, the address book, and calendar. There's good news and bad news: The good news is, I successfully figured out the email and address book. The bad news is, the calendar may be internal ... Which means you're forced to use GroupWise to view it. But at least you can use something other than GroupWise for your email now! The following instructions are for setting up Mozilla Thunderbird, because it's the most popular (and probably best) client that I've had people ask for. I'll write instructions for other clients in the future (hopefully once I figure out a work-around for the calendar), and I may post a link to the Help Page created for this on Cedarville's website after I finish it. But for now, here you go.
The beauty of Mozilla Thunderbird is it works on most any OS you're using (Windows, Mac, or Linux), and it allows for multiple accounts (I use it to combine my school and Gmail accounts), so organization is much better ... It's all in one application :)!
1.) Download and install Mozilla Thunderbird from this website.
2.) The first time you run Thunderbird, you will see this screen:
Note: If you already have a Thunderbird account setup, open Thunderbird, select Tools->Account Settings... (Edit->Account Settings... for Linux). Select "Add Account ..."
Select "Email account" and click "Next >".
3.) Enter your Full Name and full Email Address (include @cedarville.edu) in the boxes provided.
4.) Select "IMAP" and specify imap.cedarville.edu as the Incoming Server.
5.) Enter mail.cedarville.edu for the outgoing server.
6.) Enter your full email address for both the Incoming and Outgoing User Names (include @cedarville.edu).
7.) Enter your full email address as the Account Name (include @cedarville.edu).
8.) Click "Finish >".
9.) Enter your GroupWise password and select "Use Password Manager to remember passwords" if you want Thunderbird to remember your password.
10.) Click "Get Mail" to retrieve your account information (folders and stuff) from the server.
Your email account is set up! Now to add the GroupWise address book ...
1.) In Thunderbird, click "Address Book".
2.) Select File->New->LDAP Directory ...
3.) Enter "GroupWise" for the Name.
4.) Enter "imap.cedarville.edu for the Hostname.
5.) Enter "o=cedarnet" for the Base DN.
6.) Make sure the Port Number is set to "389".
Now your address book is set to sync to the LDAP server! If you want your Cedarville account to automatically look in that address book, do the following ...
1.) Select Tools->Account Settings... (Edit->Account Settings... for Linux).
2.) Under username@cedarville.edu, select "Composition & Addressing".
3.) Under Addressing, select "Use a different LDAP server:
4.) From the drop-down, select "GroupWise".
I'll let you guys know when I get the calendar thing figured out. If you're a Mozilla fan, Thunderbird doesn't have a calendar feature. You either use Mozilla Sunbird (specifically for calendars) or Mozilla SeaMonkey (which is an all-in-one suite). Obviously, if you don't use Mozilla products, you can use the above configuration settings for any client ... If you have any questions, let me know.
That doesn't mean you have to use their email client, GroupWise, though. But Cedarville says we do. Ick. So, a few nights ago, I set out to find the servers that Cedarville stores emails, the address book, and calendar. There's good news and bad news: The good news is, I successfully figured out the email and address book. The bad news is, the calendar may be internal ... Which means you're forced to use GroupWise to view it. But at least you can use something other than GroupWise for your email now! The following instructions are for setting up Mozilla Thunderbird, because it's the most popular (and probably best) client that I've had people ask for. I'll write instructions for other clients in the future (hopefully once I figure out a work-around for the calendar), and I may post a link to the Help Page created for this on Cedarville's website after I finish it. But for now, here you go.
The beauty of Mozilla Thunderbird is it works on most any OS you're using (Windows, Mac, or Linux), and it allows for multiple accounts (I use it to combine my school and Gmail accounts), so organization is much better ... It's all in one application :)!
1.) Download and install Mozilla Thunderbird from this website.
2.) The first time you run Thunderbird, you will see this screen:
Note: If you already have a Thunderbird account setup, open Thunderbird, select Tools->Account Settings... (Edit->Account Settings... for Linux). Select "Add Account ..."
Select "Email account" and click "Next >".
3.) Enter your Full Name and full Email Address (include @cedarville.edu) in the boxes provided.
4.) Select "IMAP" and specify imap.cedarville.edu as the Incoming Server.
5.) Enter mail.cedarville.edu for the outgoing server.
6.) Enter your full email address for both the Incoming and Outgoing User Names (include @cedarville.edu).
7.) Enter your full email address as the Account Name (include @cedarville.edu).
8.) Click "Finish >".
9.) Enter your GroupWise password and select "Use Password Manager to remember passwords" if you want Thunderbird to remember your password.
10.) Click "Get Mail" to retrieve your account information (folders and stuff) from the server.
Your email account is set up! Now to add the GroupWise address book ...
1.) In Thunderbird, click "Address Book".
2.) Select File->New->LDAP Directory ...
3.) Enter "GroupWise" for the Name.
4.) Enter "imap.cedarville.edu for the Hostname.
5.) Enter "o=cedarnet" for the Base DN.
6.) Make sure the Port Number is set to "389".
Now your address book is set to sync to the LDAP server! If you want your Cedarville account to automatically look in that address book, do the following ...
1.) Select Tools->Account Settings... (Edit->Account Settings... for Linux).
2.) Under username@cedarville.edu, select "Composition & Addressing".
3.) Under Addressing, select "Use a different LDAP server:
4.) From the drop-down, select "GroupWise".
I'll let you guys know when I get the calendar thing figured out. If you're a Mozilla fan, Thunderbird doesn't have a calendar feature. You either use Mozilla Sunbird (specifically for calendars) or Mozilla SeaMonkey (which is an all-in-one suite). Obviously, if you don't use Mozilla products, you can use the above configuration settings for any client ... If you have any questions, let me know.
In High School and Visiting Cedarville? Read This First ...
09/26/08 03:09 PM Filed in: Academia
Greetings, youngins,
and welcome to our beautiful campus. We're glad
you're visiting, and we'd love for you to choose
Cedarville as your college destination in the years
to come. But here's the deal: We all know when you're
visiting. And, trust me, when you too become a
student here and find yourself looking at all the
guests, you'll see why it's blatently obvious that
you don't go here. So, here are a few tips for you to
follow while enjoying your stay at Cedarville. These
will help you blend in with the students better and
not stick out like an awkward, sore thumb. It will
also help you not annoy us quite so much ...
Lose the folders:
When you arrive, Admissions will give you a white folder which contains all of the information concerning you stay. Lose it as soon as possible. (Freshman, this actually applies to you too.) If you absolutely must carry the stuff with you, run down to our bookstore and buy a red folder. Just so it's not a white Cedarville folder. Seriously, we look for those. But an even better idea is to conceal the folder inside a ...
Backpack:
You're on a college campus. We're all business here. We go to classes and even do homework occassionally. So, how do we carry all our stuff around with us all day? In a backpack! Just like you do in high school, actually. So bring it with you. It's a place to stuff that white folder away, and it also makes you look like you mean business too!
Get rid of the lanyard:
I think you're only given these on CU Friday's, so they aren't as common as the white folders. But they're farm more visible. Get rid of it as soon as your guide turns their back to you. Honestly, girls, you can't expect attention from college guys if you have that wrapped around your neck. And, obviously, that must be what you want based upon what you choose to wear. Which brings us to ...
Dress code:
We don't have it on Fridays. We incorporate a lovely thing called "Casual Dress." So don't come wearing khakis and a collared shirt or you'll stand out in chapel and in Chuck's. On the flip side, still at least attempt to not look like a skank. Wearing your outfit with the least amount of thread probably isn't a good idea for two reasons: Since you're obviously still wearing it and haven't received demerits yet, you must not be a student here, and RAs will stop you far too often, thus souring your impression of Cedarville. Avoid contact with RAs at all costs ... They might give you a sour impression of Cedarville as well.
Along these lines, did you get a free Cedarville t-shirt? Don’t wear it. We all know what they look like, and you won’t be the only one who thought, “Oh, hey, I should wear this today.”
Lose the parents:
We know you love them. I love mine. And they love you. Now that we've established we all love eachother, and we're comfortable with that fact, lose them. Next to the white folders and lanyards, parents are the next biggest flag that says, "Hey, I don't go here." Not simply because of the fact that their parents. Obviously, I'll gladly walk around campus with my parents when they come visit. And many of the professors here are parents anyway. But parents, when visiting a college, have a tendency to ask too many questions, point at things and speak loudly about them, and ask you questions like, "So, what do you think?" "Do you want to go here?" "Chuck's was really good!" If you were a student, not a visitor, your parents would have heard from you that Chuck's, in fact, was not "really good" and they would not make the mistake of saying it quite so loud.
Still on the subject of parents, they slow you down immensley. When touring a campus, you really need to get away and explore for yourself. You're going to be here for four years, sans parents. You don't need them to help you on a tour. Additionally, when you're in the afformentioned Chuck's, your parents will slow you down in line. They'll try to talk to you about the day, the food, what you think of the college, and they'll forget that the line is supposed to be moving forward. Then it doesn't. Then you have plenty of angry Cedarville students in the line behind you, annoyed that you're here. And, honestly, we don't want to be annoyed that you're here! We want to like you! But when you make our life more difficult ... And it takes five times as long simply to get our food ...
Don't follow the tour guide:
A tour. Ah, someone walking backwards on the sidewalk in front of a group of fifteen people with white folders is predominantly the most obvious way to target visitors. Honestly, do you really want to know that ENS was built in 1992? Or that the SSC holds Chuck's (our cafeteria), the post office, the bookstore, The Hive (our campus restaraunt), Veccinos (mmm ... coffee), and the game room? Or that Milner is predominantly known as the Business Building? You'll figure all of that out on your own ...
Give yourself a self-guided tour with a couple of the friends you brought with you visit. You'll get to know all of the buildings better than you ever wanted to once you start having classes in them. Anyway, you'll probably get another "official" the first week of your Freshman year ... But you should skip that one too. Now, when you and your friends are giving yourselves a self-guided tour, be especially careful to ...
Know what you're doing:
Once you pull out that white piece of paper that has your schedule, a map of the campus, or a list of available classes you can sit in on on it, you're dead. If you absolutely have to look at that thing, go hide in a bathroom stall. It's a dead giveaway. Before taking your self-guided tour, find a corner somewhere to hide with your friends and look at the campus map. Memorize it before you arrive on campus (there’s a map at cedarville.edu), even write some information down on a sticky note if you absolutely need to. Anything so that you know what you're doing and where you're going.
There's a problem with that. How are you supposed to know what you're doing on a campus you've never even been to before? Answer: You're not. It's this fantastic this called "acting." Further explained in “Don’t draw undue attention to yourself.”
Don’t sit in your reserved section:
You have a reserved section in Chuck’s ... Don’t sit there. Could you be more obvious?
Don’t use the computer labs:
You can’t log on to the computers; you don’t have access. Walking in before realizing this will only make you stand out to the entire lab.
Don’t draw undue attention to yourself:
This sort of goes with “Know what you’re doing,” but I need to elaborate more. When you’re walking around campus, whether it’s giving yourself a tour or trying to visit a class, know where you’re going. Even if you don’t, you do. If you suddenly realize you’re lost, don’t stop in the middle of the sidewalk, look at the buildings, and say, “Wait, I think Apple’s over there ...” This is really only acceptable the first week of school, and, anyway, it would identify you as a Freshman even then, which is equally bad. If you realize your lost, just keep walking. If you make a full loop around the lake, who cares. Chances are nobody’s actually followed you that long, so they won’t realize you’re lost.
If you do get lost, don’t come to a class late. Not only is that annoying (I’m talking to YOU, students) for everyone who arrived on time (and for the professor), it makes you stand out. Then you go sit in the back. Everyone in class knows you don’t belong there. Oh, and don’t bring your parents to class with you.
When walking, be sure not to look around awkwardly, gawking at all the new attractions. Look ahead, or slightly down, and look up occasionally to nod at people you don’t know. It will make you look like you fit in.
Your cell phone is not your friend. Don’t pull it out to see if someone texted you, or to pretend your on the phone. We can tell you’re faking it and just trying to look cool.
I think that’s about it. Follow these guidelines and you’re off to a fantastic visit at Cedarville. Also, many of these tips can be applied to Freshman as well. Please understand, we students don’t hate you. Obviously, it’s awesome that Cedarville continues to grow so rapidly. But you must realize we break the bank every year to pay our tuition ... And we live here. You’re coming onto our turf. On the flip side, I’d love to have a CU Friday this year that hits, say, 750 visitors ... Then, maybe, they will see how horribly crowded our cafeteria is and how much our school has grown and they’ll build us another new one!
Lose the folders:
When you arrive, Admissions will give you a white folder which contains all of the information concerning you stay. Lose it as soon as possible. (Freshman, this actually applies to you too.) If you absolutely must carry the stuff with you, run down to our bookstore and buy a red folder. Just so it's not a white Cedarville folder. Seriously, we look for those. But an even better idea is to conceal the folder inside a ...
Backpack:
You're on a college campus. We're all business here. We go to classes and even do homework occassionally. So, how do we carry all our stuff around with us all day? In a backpack! Just like you do in high school, actually. So bring it with you. It's a place to stuff that white folder away, and it also makes you look like you mean business too!
Get rid of the lanyard:
I think you're only given these on CU Friday's, so they aren't as common as the white folders. But they're farm more visible. Get rid of it as soon as your guide turns their back to you. Honestly, girls, you can't expect attention from college guys if you have that wrapped around your neck. And, obviously, that must be what you want based upon what you choose to wear. Which brings us to ...
Dress code:
We don't have it on Fridays. We incorporate a lovely thing called "Casual Dress." So don't come wearing khakis and a collared shirt or you'll stand out in chapel and in Chuck's. On the flip side, still at least attempt to not look like a skank. Wearing your outfit with the least amount of thread probably isn't a good idea for two reasons: Since you're obviously still wearing it and haven't received demerits yet, you must not be a student here, and RAs will stop you far too often, thus souring your impression of Cedarville. Avoid contact with RAs at all costs ... They might give you a sour impression of Cedarville as well.
Along these lines, did you get a free Cedarville t-shirt? Don’t wear it. We all know what they look like, and you won’t be the only one who thought, “Oh, hey, I should wear this today.”
Lose the parents:
We know you love them. I love mine. And they love you. Now that we've established we all love eachother, and we're comfortable with that fact, lose them. Next to the white folders and lanyards, parents are the next biggest flag that says, "Hey, I don't go here." Not simply because of the fact that their parents. Obviously, I'll gladly walk around campus with my parents when they come visit. And many of the professors here are parents anyway. But parents, when visiting a college, have a tendency to ask too many questions, point at things and speak loudly about them, and ask you questions like, "So, what do you think?" "Do you want to go here?" "Chuck's was really good!" If you were a student, not a visitor, your parents would have heard from you that Chuck's, in fact, was not "really good" and they would not make the mistake of saying it quite so loud.
Still on the subject of parents, they slow you down immensley. When touring a campus, you really need to get away and explore for yourself. You're going to be here for four years, sans parents. You don't need them to help you on a tour. Additionally, when you're in the afformentioned Chuck's, your parents will slow you down in line. They'll try to talk to you about the day, the food, what you think of the college, and they'll forget that the line is supposed to be moving forward. Then it doesn't. Then you have plenty of angry Cedarville students in the line behind you, annoyed that you're here. And, honestly, we don't want to be annoyed that you're here! We want to like you! But when you make our life more difficult ... And it takes five times as long simply to get our food ...
Don't follow the tour guide:
A tour. Ah, someone walking backwards on the sidewalk in front of a group of fifteen people with white folders is predominantly the most obvious way to target visitors. Honestly, do you really want to know that ENS was built in 1992? Or that the SSC holds Chuck's (our cafeteria), the post office, the bookstore, The Hive (our campus restaraunt), Veccinos (mmm ... coffee), and the game room? Or that Milner is predominantly known as the Business Building? You'll figure all of that out on your own ...
Give yourself a self-guided tour with a couple of the friends you brought with you visit. You'll get to know all of the buildings better than you ever wanted to once you start having classes in them. Anyway, you'll probably get another "official" the first week of your Freshman year ... But you should skip that one too. Now, when you and your friends are giving yourselves a self-guided tour, be especially careful to ...
Know what you're doing:
Once you pull out that white piece of paper that has your schedule, a map of the campus, or a list of available classes you can sit in on on it, you're dead. If you absolutely have to look at that thing, go hide in a bathroom stall. It's a dead giveaway. Before taking your self-guided tour, find a corner somewhere to hide with your friends and look at the campus map. Memorize it before you arrive on campus (there’s a map at cedarville.edu), even write some information down on a sticky note if you absolutely need to. Anything so that you know what you're doing and where you're going.
There's a problem with that. How are you supposed to know what you're doing on a campus you've never even been to before? Answer: You're not. It's this fantastic this called "acting." Further explained in “Don’t draw undue attention to yourself.”
Don’t sit in your reserved section:
You have a reserved section in Chuck’s ... Don’t sit there. Could you be more obvious?
Don’t use the computer labs:
You can’t log on to the computers; you don’t have access. Walking in before realizing this will only make you stand out to the entire lab.
Don’t draw undue attention to yourself:
This sort of goes with “Know what you’re doing,” but I need to elaborate more. When you’re walking around campus, whether it’s giving yourself a tour or trying to visit a class, know where you’re going. Even if you don’t, you do. If you suddenly realize you’re lost, don’t stop in the middle of the sidewalk, look at the buildings, and say, “Wait, I think Apple’s over there ...” This is really only acceptable the first week of school, and, anyway, it would identify you as a Freshman even then, which is equally bad. If you realize your lost, just keep walking. If you make a full loop around the lake, who cares. Chances are nobody’s actually followed you that long, so they won’t realize you’re lost.
If you do get lost, don’t come to a class late. Not only is that annoying (I’m talking to YOU, students) for everyone who arrived on time (and for the professor), it makes you stand out. Then you go sit in the back. Everyone in class knows you don’t belong there. Oh, and don’t bring your parents to class with you.
When walking, be sure not to look around awkwardly, gawking at all the new attractions. Look ahead, or slightly down, and look up occasionally to nod at people you don’t know. It will make you look like you fit in.
Your cell phone is not your friend. Don’t pull it out to see if someone texted you, or to pretend your on the phone. We can tell you’re faking it and just trying to look cool.
I think that’s about it. Follow these guidelines and you’re off to a fantastic visit at Cedarville. Also, many of these tips can be applied to Freshman as well. Please understand, we students don’t hate you. Obviously, it’s awesome that Cedarville continues to grow so rapidly. But you must realize we break the bank every year to pay our tuition ... And we live here. You’re coming onto our turf. On the flip side, I’d love to have a CU Friday this year that hits, say, 750 visitors ... Then, maybe, they will see how horribly crowded our cafeteria is and how much our school has grown and they’ll build us another new one!
"Um, I'm An RA ..."
09/02/08 09:11 PM Filed in: Academia
While we
understand impersonating an RA is a demeritable
offense here at Cedarville University (dishonesty),
it’s rather tempting. After all, how hard can it
really be? My roommate and I have established that,
in order to portray yourself as an RA, all you really
have to do is awkwardly introduce yourself to a
stranger in the following manner:
“Um, I’m an RA ...” And continue on stating the demerit worthy offense being committed.
So, here’s my question to you. What’s wrong with you? It should really be the Engineers and Computer Science majors that have difficulty establishing friendships and socializing with people at a normal level, but it appears as though the RAs are the most socially awkward people on this campus. Generally speaking, when I feel the urge to introduce myself to a stranger sleeping in front of me in chapel, someone who just blurted the f-bomb in the hall, or a girl in a hauntingly low shirt, I extend the hand of friendship and start with something like, “Hi, my name is Alex.”
Where I’m from, the proper, polite way to introduce yourself to a stranger is with your name, not your job description. You don’t see me walking up to people and saying, “Hi, I attend Cedarville University,” or, “Hi, I’m a Lab Assistant.” Say I’m in a situation where someone needs to know my title. For instance, I’m in the lab and someone is struggling. Here’s how I would construct my introductory sentence: “Hi, my name is Alex, and I’m a Lab Assistant here. May I help you?” See? I first establish my name before constructing the remainder of my identity for you. We don’t want to let the entire cat out of the bag all at once.
Honestly, RAs would be so much more amicable if they would make an effort to get to know us before demeriting us. I believe I speak for the whole when I say it’s hard for me to respect someone who’s completely rude to me. After all, in confronting me, you’re asking for my respect. And, since I am another human being of the same age (if not older) as yourself, it would make sense that you too would show me a bit of respect.
On top of that, RAs need to seriously understand where their jurisdiction begins and ends--the school and the Handbook. (Also, the sooner you get off your power trip, the better.) You aren’t asked to enforce local law, and you aren’t asked to elaborate on the Handbook. Meaning, if it doesn’t specifically state something in the Handbook, you don’t need to make up a rule for it simply because you’re uncomfortable. Before awkwardly stepping forward and announcing to the crowd, “Um, I’m an RA ...” think to yourself: is anyone getting hurt? Is school property actually being damaged? Are moral laws being broken? If the answer to all of these questions is “no” and it’s just your own personal preferences and/or convictions being disrupted, you need to keep silent. (Unless you want to be part of a hazing ...)
Notice I didn’t actually mention anything about the Handbook. See, it’s more a set of guidelines, and this is understood by the entire student body and administration. Please understand that, yes, technically speaking, guys aren’t allowed to wear pony tails or nail polish and, technically speaking, no one is allowed to wear any form of denim (blue, black, green, or otherwise) according to the Student Handbook. But does anyone enforce this? Should anyone enforce this like a nazi? No. Actually, Dr. Brown poked fun at this fact last year in chapel, pointing out the ironic fact that our RAs let people get away with wearing green jeans but not blue jeans, even though both would technically be prohibited by the handbook. Heck, Dr. Brown’s favorite movie is V for Vendetta, an R-rated movie that is not on our list of approved movies.
Last night, Caitlin, Dave, and I were on the way back from the Labor Day fireworks when, out of the darkness, several water balloons splashed on the sidewalk ahead of us. A few more hit the people walking near us. We veered slightly off the sidewalk in order to avoid the water balloons, but we were walking in a large clump of other people (and we didn’t know them). We were also not even close to school property. The water balloons were coming from behind a wooden fence that enclosed someone’s house. Turns out there was an RA in the group ahead of us who was not happy with the water balloon throwing (do I even need to mention that it was a girl?). “Should I go back and talk to them?” She asked the other members of her group. They encouraged her to do so, so she turned around and stated, “Yah, I’m gonna go talk to them.” Dave and I (rather loudly) retorted our complaints on the matter, announcing that she should just leave the pedestrians alone. That, my friend, is just ridiculous. A water balloon? In downtown Cedarville, off campus? Thrown by a shadowed figure behind a white fence enclosing private property? That’s none of your business.
RAs need to understand that their job is exactly what our RD told us; to protect us, not to make enemies of us. Turns out you’re actually students here too. Yes, above us to protect us, but you don’t need to remind us of that fact unless circumstances require it.
Just to clear things up, I haven’t gotten any demerits recently, I’ve just been observing this, and the incident last night especially annoyed me. I don’t have a problem being rebuked for an immature action when it’s done in love or actual concern for my well-being. But when it’s done simply because you realize, “Hey, I have power over this situation, and that person is annoying me,” that’s where it just gets unnecessary and annoying. You could attempt to actually make an effort to introduce yourself before smacking us with “Um, I’m an RA ...” We don’t bite. No need to be afraid. And, honestly, it’s the job you signed up for. The job to protect us. Not the job to reprimand us.
“Um, I’m an RA ...” And continue on stating the demerit worthy offense being committed.
So, here’s my question to you. What’s wrong with you? It should really be the Engineers and Computer Science majors that have difficulty establishing friendships and socializing with people at a normal level, but it appears as though the RAs are the most socially awkward people on this campus. Generally speaking, when I feel the urge to introduce myself to a stranger sleeping in front of me in chapel, someone who just blurted the f-bomb in the hall, or a girl in a hauntingly low shirt, I extend the hand of friendship and start with something like, “Hi, my name is Alex.”
Where I’m from, the proper, polite way to introduce yourself to a stranger is with your name, not your job description. You don’t see me walking up to people and saying, “Hi, I attend Cedarville University,” or, “Hi, I’m a Lab Assistant.” Say I’m in a situation where someone needs to know my title. For instance, I’m in the lab and someone is struggling. Here’s how I would construct my introductory sentence: “Hi, my name is Alex, and I’m a Lab Assistant here. May I help you?” See? I first establish my name before constructing the remainder of my identity for you. We don’t want to let the entire cat out of the bag all at once.
Honestly, RAs would be so much more amicable if they would make an effort to get to know us before demeriting us. I believe I speak for the whole when I say it’s hard for me to respect someone who’s completely rude to me. After all, in confronting me, you’re asking for my respect. And, since I am another human being of the same age (if not older) as yourself, it would make sense that you too would show me a bit of respect.
On top of that, RAs need to seriously understand where their jurisdiction begins and ends--the school and the Handbook. (Also, the sooner you get off your power trip, the better.) You aren’t asked to enforce local law, and you aren’t asked to elaborate on the Handbook. Meaning, if it doesn’t specifically state something in the Handbook, you don’t need to make up a rule for it simply because you’re uncomfortable. Before awkwardly stepping forward and announcing to the crowd, “Um, I’m an RA ...” think to yourself: is anyone getting hurt? Is school property actually being damaged? Are moral laws being broken? If the answer to all of these questions is “no” and it’s just your own personal preferences and/or convictions being disrupted, you need to keep silent. (Unless you want to be part of a hazing ...)
Notice I didn’t actually mention anything about the Handbook. See, it’s more a set of guidelines, and this is understood by the entire student body and administration. Please understand that, yes, technically speaking, guys aren’t allowed to wear pony tails or nail polish and, technically speaking, no one is allowed to wear any form of denim (blue, black, green, or otherwise) according to the Student Handbook. But does anyone enforce this? Should anyone enforce this like a nazi? No. Actually, Dr. Brown poked fun at this fact last year in chapel, pointing out the ironic fact that our RAs let people get away with wearing green jeans but not blue jeans, even though both would technically be prohibited by the handbook. Heck, Dr. Brown’s favorite movie is V for Vendetta, an R-rated movie that is not on our list of approved movies.
Last night, Caitlin, Dave, and I were on the way back from the Labor Day fireworks when, out of the darkness, several water balloons splashed on the sidewalk ahead of us. A few more hit the people walking near us. We veered slightly off the sidewalk in order to avoid the water balloons, but we were walking in a large clump of other people (and we didn’t know them). We were also not even close to school property. The water balloons were coming from behind a wooden fence that enclosed someone’s house. Turns out there was an RA in the group ahead of us who was not happy with the water balloon throwing (do I even need to mention that it was a girl?). “Should I go back and talk to them?” She asked the other members of her group. They encouraged her to do so, so she turned around and stated, “Yah, I’m gonna go talk to them.” Dave and I (rather loudly) retorted our complaints on the matter, announcing that she should just leave the pedestrians alone. That, my friend, is just ridiculous. A water balloon? In downtown Cedarville, off campus? Thrown by a shadowed figure behind a white fence enclosing private property? That’s none of your business.
RAs need to understand that their job is exactly what our RD told us; to protect us, not to make enemies of us. Turns out you’re actually students here too. Yes, above us to protect us, but you don’t need to remind us of that fact unless circumstances require it.
Just to clear things up, I haven’t gotten any demerits recently, I’ve just been observing this, and the incident last night especially annoyed me. I don’t have a problem being rebuked for an immature action when it’s done in love or actual concern for my well-being. But when it’s done simply because you realize, “Hey, I have power over this situation, and that person is annoying me,” that’s where it just gets unnecessary and annoying. You could attempt to actually make an effort to introduce yourself before smacking us with “Um, I’m an RA ...” We don’t bite. No need to be afraid. And, honestly, it’s the job you signed up for. The job to protect us. Not the job to reprimand us.
Cedar Monster
This afternoon, as
Caitlin, Moses, and I sat down to Lunch in Chuck's,
something outside the large glass windows caught our
attention. Something was swimming in the waters of
Cedar Lake. From our perch on high, it was hard to
make out exactly what it was; to me, it appeared as
though it was a snake swimming in the water, sticking
it's head above the surface every few minutes, just
to look around. Moses admitted that she had seen it a
day prior.
The "thing" appeared to have glossy rubbery skin that was difficult to look at because of the suns bright reflection off it. I guessed that it was black, or at least very dark gray. When it first caught our attention, I thought it was a piece of plastic bobbing in the water, floating to the surface every once in a while. But Moses told me she had seen it on the other side of the lake yesterday and earlier that day. After watching it slither (or so it appeared) through the water, I was next convinced that it was a snake. This assertion made Moses angry, because she kept pounding her fist on the table insisting "it has a fin!" Finally, we realized from our far away position, behind glass, we weren't going to be able to figure out what it was. We decided to clean up our dishes and go down to the water to check it out.
We strolled out of the SSC and up to the water's edge at about the same time that Alberto (henceforth referred to as Bertrude) arrived on the scene. He threw his bike on the ground and joined us lakeside. We all stood there for quite some time observing the finned creature; Moses was right. It was no snake. It certainly had both a fin at it's "rear side" and along the top of it. It looked like a shark, I now thought. Quite honestly, it was about the size of a baby shark. Bertrude made an offhand and completely illegitimate claim that the monster was some type of "carpe." What does he know.
We had three major suspicions. Either it's a baby shark, a dolphin, or the Loch Ness monster. Our only doubt was that we weren't sure if the Loch Ness monster had a fin on it's back or not. Upon consultation of a far more reputable source, Jenna Woestman, we learned that "the Loch Ness monster could have a fin. It pretty much looks like whatever people want it to look like when they think they see it."
I still think it's a baby shark. No matter what it is, consider yourselves warned ... the Cedar Monster lives in Cedar Lake, and it actually ate Bertrude while we were there (may he rest in pieces in it's tummy). Clearly, this must be the cause of the apparent "climate of fear" on our campus, because I can't think of anything else that would be causing it.
At one point as we stood on the grass beside the lake, a group of four girls was walking by on the sidewalk behind us as we stared in awe (crossing ourselves after Bertrude had been eaten). One of the girls said to the others, "Look at the size of that thing! What is that? A fish?" I turned around and looked at the group. "It's not a fish. It's a shark." One of the girls got such a terrified expression on her face that I nearly felt bad for saying it.
The "thing" appeared to have glossy rubbery skin that was difficult to look at because of the suns bright reflection off it. I guessed that it was black, or at least very dark gray. When it first caught our attention, I thought it was a piece of plastic bobbing in the water, floating to the surface every once in a while. But Moses told me she had seen it on the other side of the lake yesterday and earlier that day. After watching it slither (or so it appeared) through the water, I was next convinced that it was a snake. This assertion made Moses angry, because she kept pounding her fist on the table insisting "it has a fin!" Finally, we realized from our far away position, behind glass, we weren't going to be able to figure out what it was. We decided to clean up our dishes and go down to the water to check it out.
We strolled out of the SSC and up to the water's edge at about the same time that Alberto (henceforth referred to as Bertrude) arrived on the scene. He threw his bike on the ground and joined us lakeside. We all stood there for quite some time observing the finned creature; Moses was right. It was no snake. It certainly had both a fin at it's "rear side" and along the top of it. It looked like a shark, I now thought. Quite honestly, it was about the size of a baby shark. Bertrude made an offhand and completely illegitimate claim that the monster was some type of "carpe." What does he know.
We had three major suspicions. Either it's a baby shark, a dolphin, or the Loch Ness monster. Our only doubt was that we weren't sure if the Loch Ness monster had a fin on it's back or not. Upon consultation of a far more reputable source, Jenna Woestman, we learned that "the Loch Ness monster could have a fin. It pretty much looks like whatever people want it to look like when they think they see it."
I still think it's a baby shark. No matter what it is, consider yourselves warned ... the Cedar Monster lives in Cedar Lake, and it actually ate Bertrude while we were there (may he rest in pieces in it's tummy). Clearly, this must be the cause of the apparent "climate of fear" on our campus, because I can't think of anything else that would be causing it.
At one point as we stood on the grass beside the lake, a group of four girls was walking by on the sidewalk behind us as we stared in awe (crossing ourselves after Bertrude had been eaten). One of the girls said to the others, "Look at the size of that thing! What is that? A fish?" I turned around and looked at the group. "It's not a fish. It's a shark." One of the girls got such a terrified expression on her face that I nearly felt bad for saying it.
Site Stats
04/21/08 12:04 PM Filed in: Indiscriminate
I thought it would be
interesting to report the site statistics since
relaunching AlexLaird.net (finally) on February 17th,
2008 with a new look and feel. I also switched
servers on my blog, instead of hosting via blogger at
blogspot.alexlaird.net, the blog is now hosted
via Surpass Hosting
(as is the rest of
my site) and managed directly by ... Myself :D. No
more limits! I can do whatever I want with it now.
Two whole months have elapsed, and I finally got around to checking my site meter. Here are the fancy-pants statistics.
That's all for now. Thanks to all the viewers of the site and readers of the blog in just these two short months! Hopefully I'll be able to post more when school's out and beautiful Summer has set in!
On a final note, if you use Google Reader or some such subscription service to view this blog, the name of the blog may still appear as "Define 'Cool'" when, in actuality, I have changed the name to "Alex's Musings." You may have to rename it manually since some RSS readers update only post feeds and not the name of the feed.
Two whole months have elapsed, and I finally got around to checking my site meter. Here are the fancy-pants statistics.
- There have been over 2,500 unique page visits to AlexLaird.net/blog. Even more have read from the Feed, so that would be all you faithful Facebookers and Google Readers out there who read it the lame way without actually visiting my site.
- Surprisingly, over 6% of these visit last longer than an hour!
- Over 400 of these hits come from Cedarville University's campus. There also appears to be a large cluster of readers in Virginia State, San Fransisco, Germany, Australia, Canada (sorry about that one post, guys ...), and Amsterdam. I don't know how I acquired such a reader group, but thanks for showing interest.
- I'm proud to report that 40% of my visitors view this site with a Mac. Only 38% use Windows, and, sadly, only 0.2% have viewed while on Linux.
- Still, and going to show that Safari is not the most popular browser on Mac, only 27.4% of you Mac users are using Safari. 31.8% of visitors use Internet Explorer.
- The largest amount of Search Engine references for me comes from, you guessed it, Google!
- From other sites, Jenna is my biggest supporter :). I get the most referrals from her blog. I also get quite a few viewers from Ben Berberich's blog, Facebook (both Notes and on my Profile), and Ashley's blog.
That's all for now. Thanks to all the viewers of the site and readers of the blog in just these two short months! Hopefully I'll be able to post more when school's out and beautiful Summer has set in!
On a final note, if you use Google Reader or some such subscription service to view this blog, the name of the blog may still appear as "Define 'Cool'" when, in actuality, I have changed the name to "Alex's Musings." You may have to rename it manually since some RSS readers update only post feeds and not the name of the feed.
I Love Cedarville
04/18/08 11:38 AM Filed in: Academia
Am I the only one who
notices that Cedarville loves telling us how much the
buildings cost? The new BS building cost $14 million
to build. The Gym cost $15 million. The SSC cost $23
million.
Most of this doesn't even come out of our pockets, as many students like to whine that it does. In contrast to this whining about expenses and rules, I and my nine demerits (this semester) would like to point out a few reasons Cedarville rocks ... Compare this to, say, Bob Jones.
If you aren't aware of the current Cedarville "situation," I won't bother enlightening you too much. You can enlighten yourself by going here or here for Cedarville's opinion and here for the outsider's opinion. There's also some good information here from an anonymous point of view. I especially like this blog because they don't always give an opinion, they just state the facts (and cite their sources, unlike the outsider's opinion ...)
Cedarville has been getting some publicity as of late (thanks, Dayton Daily News and Columbus Dispatch)! On the front cover of the Dayton Daily News paper on Sunday, March 30th, there was a large picture of two Cedarville girls walking on a sidewalk. The headline? "Bible Profs Fired, 'A Climate of Fear at Cedarville U.'" Personally, I liked this rendition by David Sizemore all the more. I was shocked to read this article for two reasons. 1.) This happened at the end of last year and somewhat over the Summer. The Board of Trustees voted in January, making their firing decision final. It's over, people! 2.) I'm not afraid. Nobody's afraid. What "climate of fear?" You'd think that, well, since I live on this campus, I would notice if everyone were crying themselves to sleep every night.
Another irony is the fact that, when the newspaper was on campus, they were escorted by Dr. Ruby, and he had to answer all their hard-hitting questions. The reporters were under strict orders that they were not allowed to take photographs, but they could ask as many questions as they like. So, please explain to me how this article has a huge picture, front-and-center? Some people who are anti-Cedarville in this fight like to blame Dr. Ruby for the fact that pictures were taken, but I'll bet you one thing: They didn't take them while he was around! There are people on this campus all the time taking pictures; nobody stops you! All they had to do was come back later. But I'd like to speak to the reporters for a moment. Question: If you were trying to capture an image that would represent your "fearful" title, why did you choose to print a picture of two girls laughing and smiling, walking along happily with each other? Very fearful ...
The author of the article is apparently a Christian and felt it was her duty to write the article out of concern. She claims she wrote the article based on an "anonymous phone call." Your credibility is skyrocketing in my mind. I didn't see her interviewing me, though apparently she stayed on campus "researching" for four days.
There's two main groups up on Facebook, where all proper debates should take place. There's the "I support Cedarville" side and the "I want Cedarville destroyed" side. Some fans of the latter group may jump all over me, telling me all they really want is "the truth," not to destroy Cedarville, but let's think about the logic. What are you accomplishing by sticking your nose where it doesn't belong? Absolutely nothing! And as Cedarville Faculty continues to deny you any facts, and third-party sources keep making up stories to feed you, you just get more and more angry towards Cedarville. And for what? To satisfy your curiosity?
On the anti-Cedarville Facebook group, they proudly sport the banner under their description, "Opposing views are welcome but individuals will be removed from the group who are known to have no connection to the situation and/or who base their authority on anonymous sources." Interesting statement. It's false. I joined the group and posted on the wall, explaining to all the members that, no matter how much they kept asking, Cedarville would never give them "the truth" that they wanted due to simple ethics and legal confidentiality. I also explained that, no matter what, I supported Cedarville and didn't want to ask questions because I trusted Dr. Brown and the Board of Trustees. It's their job to work with these types of decisions, not mine. Only a few hours went by before my wall post was deleted and I was sufficiently blocked from the group. A further message from the group's creator informed me that he was glad I was "very informed [and had] read everything Cedarville has communicated to [me]." I replied and thanked him, of course. And, yes, it's true, I've read everything Cedarville has fed me. I've also read all the other information I can get my hands on to try to make sense of it and, quite honestly, I can't! Interestingly, the admin of this anti-Cedarville group is a Cedarville alumni who graduated last year. Guess what that means? He doesn't even live on campus anymore! I'm glad one of the people who has the most adamant voice against Cedarville in this situation isn't even in the middle of it anymore. Not surprisingly, most of the anti-Cedarville articles and information is from off-campus sources. That seems really credible.
What I find ironic is that this group and all its members are demanding that they deserve to know why these profs were fired when, in reality, they have no right. They say the firings were unethical and this gives them the right to know. (Really?) Apparently what they don't understand is that their demands are equally unethical, if not more so. I would say more so because the administration here at Cedarville obviously had a reason for doing what they did, and this group has no viable reason, except gossip, for their demands. They argue that Cedarville is hiding things from us and that they won't let us see all the facts. Ironically, however, this very group itself is hypocritical in that manner since they aren't accepting outside opinions either! And when an opposing view comes onto the wall, they are quick to delete it and block the user. Hmm ... Doesn't that sound suspicious to you?
I have now made my home at the pro-Cedarville group and am no longer afraid of being blocked. But I can tell you this: I've never felt so proud of being blocked from a group :). It made my week to know that I hit such a sensitive nerve that they didn't want what I said to get out. Heaven forbid people actually know the truth. The only truth they're very going to understand in this situation because, let me say this one more time people ... Cedarville will never, EVER give you this information!
Did I miss the memo saying Cedarville was a perfect college? Oh, wait. There wasn't one! There's no such thing as a perfect college. Turns out every college has issues like these. (I know, who knew, right?) I've about had it with people griping about the school. What happened to Philippians 2:14 "Do everything without grumbling or complaining?" Or what about Romans 1:29-32? "They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, contrivers of all sorts of evil, disobedient to parents, senseless, covenenat-breakers, heartless, ruthless. Although they fully know God's righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but also approve of those who practice them." (Please don't take this as I think you should die ...) People hop all over our President for having a book on Postmodernism on his "Books to Read" list. Why is this a bad thing? Additionally, if we have a Chapel speaker come who has a very Postmodern point of view and, perhaps, isn't even 100% in line with the Cedarville's doctrinal statement, this doesn't mean we're ready to go to Hell. Cedarville isn't about spoon feeding it's students a worldview and saying, "Get out of here. Figure the world out yourself." Cedarville is all about presenting the truth from God's word and allowing us to mold our worldview based upon that guide. This way, when we get into the real world, we know how to react to situations on our own, we aren't dependent on a prof to tell us how to react. The anti-Cedarville groups want to the the truth about this so-called "faculty exodus" at Cedarville, claiming it is leading us down the path of Postmodernism, when in reality, the professors were probably fired for violating the Faculty Handbook. The administration at Cedarville has told us the firings were not based on a Theological issue, so they were probably based on misconduct and abuse of authority. Yes, that can get you fired. We really have no reasonable reason to think this isn't true, so making things up and demanding to know the "real" reason for the firings is just ludicrous.
In conclusion, I would like to say this publicly to Dr. Brown, the Board of Trustees, Dr. Ruby, Dr. Milliman, and everyone else in the administration taking all the heat for this: "I love you guys. I appreciate you guys. I respect your decisions, and as far as I'm concerned, this is a 'closed case.' I'm sorry the media and people off campus are printing slanderous things against you and defaming you verbally, but since when has the media actually given a proper representation of something? That doesn't sell stories ... So stay strong! I'm praying for all of you."
Feel free to post any arguments you have with this post. I'm quite open to all points of view, and I will not delete your comment. But no matter what you tell me, I will continue to support our administration. But to those of you who enjoy griping about the rules and expenses associated with Cedarville University and constantly trying to find the schools Biblical faults (and making them up when you can't find them), I wonder ... Why are you coming here?
Most of this doesn't even come out of our pockets, as many students like to whine that it does. In contrast to this whining about expenses and rules, I and my nine demerits (this semester) would like to point out a few reasons Cedarville rocks ... Compare this to, say, Bob Jones.
- We can watch movies rated "worse" than G. Granted, we can't watch R-rated movies in the Residence Halls, but that's not all bad, and if you really have a problem with that, just go to the DMC and watch it; that's not a Residence Hall.
- We're allowed to go to movie theaters.
- We're allowed to dance. (Look in the handbook, guys. It says nowhere in there that we can't dance.)
- We can listen to basically whatever music we like, including such immoral, hip-moving music as Jazz, Rock, and Christian Contemporary (Heaven forbid).
- We can play T and E10 rated video games. Question: What the heck is an E10 rating? I've never even heard of it ...
- We just have to be in our Residence Halls past curfew ... Not in bed with the lights out.
- We have open internet access and our emails aren't screened by Big Brother.
- Girls can eat a banana anyway they like. (If you don't get this one, don't think too hard about it ...)
- We're allowed to choose the Church we go to on Sundays, if we go at all.
- We (guys too) can wear necklaces.
- We can wear Abercrombie & Fitch.
- We can play Poker, just not for money.
- We can socialize (and date) in coed groups without a chaperone.
If you aren't aware of the current Cedarville "situation," I won't bother enlightening you too much. You can enlighten yourself by going here or here for Cedarville's opinion and here for the outsider's opinion. There's also some good information here from an anonymous point of view. I especially like this blog because they don't always give an opinion, they just state the facts (and cite their sources, unlike the outsider's opinion ...)
Cedarville has been getting some publicity as of late (thanks, Dayton Daily News and Columbus Dispatch)! On the front cover of the Dayton Daily News paper on Sunday, March 30th, there was a large picture of two Cedarville girls walking on a sidewalk. The headline? "Bible Profs Fired, 'A Climate of Fear at Cedarville U.'" Personally, I liked this rendition by David Sizemore all the more. I was shocked to read this article for two reasons. 1.) This happened at the end of last year and somewhat over the Summer. The Board of Trustees voted in January, making their firing decision final. It's over, people! 2.) I'm not afraid. Nobody's afraid. What "climate of fear?" You'd think that, well, since I live on this campus, I would notice if everyone were crying themselves to sleep every night.
Another irony is the fact that, when the newspaper was on campus, they were escorted by Dr. Ruby, and he had to answer all their hard-hitting questions. The reporters were under strict orders that they were not allowed to take photographs, but they could ask as many questions as they like. So, please explain to me how this article has a huge picture, front-and-center? Some people who are anti-Cedarville in this fight like to blame Dr. Ruby for the fact that pictures were taken, but I'll bet you one thing: They didn't take them while he was around! There are people on this campus all the time taking pictures; nobody stops you! All they had to do was come back later. But I'd like to speak to the reporters for a moment. Question: If you were trying to capture an image that would represent your "fearful" title, why did you choose to print a picture of two girls laughing and smiling, walking along happily with each other? Very fearful ...
The author of the article is apparently a Christian and felt it was her duty to write the article out of concern. She claims she wrote the article based on an "anonymous phone call." Your credibility is skyrocketing in my mind. I didn't see her interviewing me, though apparently she stayed on campus "researching" for four days.
There's two main groups up on Facebook, where all proper debates should take place. There's the "I support Cedarville" side and the "I want Cedarville destroyed" side. Some fans of the latter group may jump all over me, telling me all they really want is "the truth," not to destroy Cedarville, but let's think about the logic. What are you accomplishing by sticking your nose where it doesn't belong? Absolutely nothing! And as Cedarville Faculty continues to deny you any facts, and third-party sources keep making up stories to feed you, you just get more and more angry towards Cedarville. And for what? To satisfy your curiosity?
On the anti-Cedarville Facebook group, they proudly sport the banner under their description, "Opposing views are welcome but individuals will be removed from the group who are known to have no connection to the situation and/or who base their authority on anonymous sources." Interesting statement. It's false. I joined the group and posted on the wall, explaining to all the members that, no matter how much they kept asking, Cedarville would never give them "the truth" that they wanted due to simple ethics and legal confidentiality. I also explained that, no matter what, I supported Cedarville and didn't want to ask questions because I trusted Dr. Brown and the Board of Trustees. It's their job to work with these types of decisions, not mine. Only a few hours went by before my wall post was deleted and I was sufficiently blocked from the group. A further message from the group's creator informed me that he was glad I was "very informed [and had] read everything Cedarville has communicated to [me]." I replied and thanked him, of course. And, yes, it's true, I've read everything Cedarville has fed me. I've also read all the other information I can get my hands on to try to make sense of it and, quite honestly, I can't! Interestingly, the admin of this anti-Cedarville group is a Cedarville alumni who graduated last year. Guess what that means? He doesn't even live on campus anymore! I'm glad one of the people who has the most adamant voice against Cedarville in this situation isn't even in the middle of it anymore. Not surprisingly, most of the anti-Cedarville articles and information is from off-campus sources. That seems really credible.
What I find ironic is that this group and all its members are demanding that they deserve to know why these profs were fired when, in reality, they have no right. They say the firings were unethical and this gives them the right to know. (Really?) Apparently what they don't understand is that their demands are equally unethical, if not more so. I would say more so because the administration here at Cedarville obviously had a reason for doing what they did, and this group has no viable reason, except gossip, for their demands. They argue that Cedarville is hiding things from us and that they won't let us see all the facts. Ironically, however, this very group itself is hypocritical in that manner since they aren't accepting outside opinions either! And when an opposing view comes onto the wall, they are quick to delete it and block the user. Hmm ... Doesn't that sound suspicious to you?
I have now made my home at the pro-Cedarville group and am no longer afraid of being blocked. But I can tell you this: I've never felt so proud of being blocked from a group :). It made my week to know that I hit such a sensitive nerve that they didn't want what I said to get out. Heaven forbid people actually know the truth. The only truth they're very going to understand in this situation because, let me say this one more time people ... Cedarville will never, EVER give you this information!
Did I miss the memo saying Cedarville was a perfect college? Oh, wait. There wasn't one! There's no such thing as a perfect college. Turns out every college has issues like these. (I know, who knew, right?) I've about had it with people griping about the school. What happened to Philippians 2:14 "Do everything without grumbling or complaining?" Or what about Romans 1:29-32? "They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, contrivers of all sorts of evil, disobedient to parents, senseless, covenenat-breakers, heartless, ruthless. Although they fully know God's righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but also approve of those who practice them." (Please don't take this as I think you should die ...) People hop all over our President for having a book on Postmodernism on his "Books to Read" list. Why is this a bad thing? Additionally, if we have a Chapel speaker come who has a very Postmodern point of view and, perhaps, isn't even 100% in line with the Cedarville's doctrinal statement, this doesn't mean we're ready to go to Hell. Cedarville isn't about spoon feeding it's students a worldview and saying, "Get out of here. Figure the world out yourself." Cedarville is all about presenting the truth from God's word and allowing us to mold our worldview based upon that guide. This way, when we get into the real world, we know how to react to situations on our own, we aren't dependent on a prof to tell us how to react. The anti-Cedarville groups want to the the truth about this so-called "faculty exodus" at Cedarville, claiming it is leading us down the path of Postmodernism, when in reality, the professors were probably fired for violating the Faculty Handbook. The administration at Cedarville has told us the firings were not based on a Theological issue, so they were probably based on misconduct and abuse of authority. Yes, that can get you fired. We really have no reasonable reason to think this isn't true, so making things up and demanding to know the "real" reason for the firings is just ludicrous.
In conclusion, I would like to say this publicly to Dr. Brown, the Board of Trustees, Dr. Ruby, Dr. Milliman, and everyone else in the administration taking all the heat for this: "I love you guys. I appreciate you guys. I respect your decisions, and as far as I'm concerned, this is a 'closed case.' I'm sorry the media and people off campus are printing slanderous things against you and defaming you verbally, but since when has the media actually given a proper representation of something? That doesn't sell stories ... So stay strong! I'm praying for all of you."
Feel free to post any arguments you have with this post. I'm quite open to all points of view, and I will not delete your comment. But no matter what you tell me, I will continue to support our administration. But to those of you who enjoy griping about the rules and expenses associated with Cedarville University and constantly trying to find the schools Biblical faults (and making them up when you can't find them), I wonder ... Why are you coming here?
Laundry Room Etiquette
04/02/08 01:30 PM Filed in: Academia
"Is this smart? Or am I
being an idiot?"
This question, among many others, appears impossible for Freshman males to ask themselves. Granted, I am a Freshman, and a male at that, but I'm one of the few who at least partially grasps the concept of being polite.
It's simply ridiculous to walk into a laundry room on campus and see the mounds of clothes strewn about the floor. My sheer frustration with the laundry room has led me to point out so simple etiquette rules that, quite honestly, aren't that hard to follow, guys! But somehow, people still manage to get into silent screaming matches with each other, throwing other's clothes on the floor to "spite" them.
So, let's begin:
Washing Machine Etiquette
Dryer Etiquette
Honestly, guys, it's no wonder girls say we're incompetent as males.
This question, among many others, appears impossible for Freshman males to ask themselves. Granted, I am a Freshman, and a male at that, but I'm one of the few who at least partially grasps the concept of being polite.
It's simply ridiculous to walk into a laundry room on campus and see the mounds of clothes strewn about the floor. My sheer frustration with the laundry room has led me to point out so simple etiquette rules that, quite honestly, aren't that hard to follow, guys! But somehow, people still manage to get into silent screaming matches with each other, throwing other's clothes on the floor to "spite" them.
So, let's begin:
Washing Machine Etiquette
- If a washing cycle has not completed, do not remove the clothes from the washer. Of course, by "completed" I mean the washer is completely done, not just almost done. Allow me to be a little more clear; if the washer still says "1 minute" or "2 minutes," this does not constitute as "close enough" and give you permission to pull the wet clothes out and throw them on the floor!
- If the washing cycle completes and there are other people in the laundry room, before pulling the clothes out and throwing them on the floor to collect the dirt back on them that they just washed got off, open your mouth and ask, "Does this washer belong to anyone?" That way, someone else can claim the clothes and empty the washer for you.
- If no one is in the laundry room, or no one claims the washer as their own, do them the simple courtesy of moving the wet clothes to an open dryer. Obviously, you would like it someone saved you this step, so why not do it for them?
- If there are no open dryers for you to move a load of wet laundry into, put them in a basket. Throwing them on the floor completely contradicts the point of a laundry room.
- If by some chance you forget your own detergent, it's not entirely ethical to use someone else's that they left in the laundry room for safekeeping. If there are other people in the laundry room, chances are you could ask and someone would be more than willing to let you use theirs.
Dryer Etiquette
- If a drying cycle has not complete, do not remove the clothes from the dryer. Of course, by "completed" I mean the dryer is completely done, not just almost done. Allow me to be a little more clear; if the dryer still says "1 minute" or "2 minutes," this does not constitute as "close enough" and give you permission to pull the still wet clothes out and throw them on the floor!
- If a drying cycle completes and there are other people in the laundry room, before pulling the clothes out and throwing them on the floor to collect the dirt back on them that they just got washed off, open your mouth and ask, "does this dryer belong to anyone?" That way, someone else can claim the clothes and empty the dryer for you.
- If you move someone else's clothes from a washer to a dryer, start the dryer
- If you move someone else's clothes from a washer to a dryer, put one of your own dryer sheets in with it.
- If there are no open dryers to which to move a load of someone else's wet laundry into, but there is a dryer that has completed it's cycle, unload this dryer and use it.
- Before purloining any open dryers, make sure those dryers are not already claimed by another in the laundry room. Washers and dryers both are on a first-come-first-serve basis, so if someone has been sitting, doing homework in the laundry room for the last 42 minutes, waiting for a dryer to finish, you're a complete jerk if you dash into the laundry room, grab your clothes from your washer, and shove them into that very dryer before the rightful owner of it can. Don't be that guy!
- When unloading a dryer of someone else's clothes, don't show them the same respect you would show your own (because we all know how guys treat their clothes), show them the respect a girl might show their clothes. This means do not pull the clothes out of the dryer and throw them on the floor! Find an empty laundry basket to put the clothes in.
- If you cannot find an empty laundry basket in which to put someone else's clothes from a dryer, place the clothes on top of something else, like a washing machine. (NOT the garbage cans, guys.)
- Never, on any circumstances, should you put someone else's clothes from a dryer that you want into a basket full of other clothes! Mixing clothes that do not belong to the same person is just stupid and irresponsible.
- If by some chance you forget your own dryer sheets, it's not entirely ethical to use someone else's that they left in the laundry room for safekeeping. If there are other people in the laundry room, chances are you could ask and someone would be more than willing to let you use theirs.
- Additionally, if you are taking clothes back to your own room, make sure you use your own laundry basket, or a laundry basket marked "Laundry Room." If the laundry basket has a name written on it, or even looks like a nice, unmarked laundry basket (unlike the one's provided by the laundry room) that someone actually purchased, do not take it back to your room with you! We understand, of course, that you mean to bring it back to the laundry room; no, you would never steal it. But we all also know that you'll forget to take it back for about a week, and you're causing the true owner of the basket large amounts of undue grief.
Honestly, guys, it's no wonder girls say we're incompetent as males.
In Which I Read Cedars and Laugh
03/28/08 11:14 PM Filed in: Academia
Tonight, Caitlin and I
sat down to read the highly anticipated and poorly
punctuated Cedars, our on-campus magazine. We flipped
to page twelve to read an article on the upcoming
event, Elliv, which is "one of Cedarville's most
popular events," claims Cedars. And, according to the
turnout and hype inspired by the event, I would have
to agree, even though I have yet to experience it.
Wouldn't you know it, they're changing it this year, much to the dismay of many, myself included. According to Cedars, "[Stephanie] Small [and] the 2008 Elliv committee want to eliminate the idea that the event is simply a popularity contest." Says Small, "We worked really hard to get a show that was for everyman, not just pointing out the popular kids but celebrating the year." In agreement with this, "Some awards have been changed, so instead of voting for the best campus artist or student athlete, students will have the opportunity to vote for their favorite piece of student artwork or the best athletic achievement."
"Oh, right," I said, turning to Caitlin. "Because God wants us to worship the trees instead of crediting the creator for his accomplishments."
Question. Is there something wrong with saying, "Wow, that was an amazing performance of Another Brick in the Wall. I say we give them Best Live Performance!"? Not to my knowledge. If someone does something truly spectacular, I don't think crediting them for it is a "popularity contest." And, honestly, wouldn't an award for Most Popular Student be a joke on a college campus. We're on a campus of nearly 3,500 students; anyone who sits in the balcony depressed over the fact that John Doe one Most Popular Student instead of themselves needs to be handed a band aid and shoved out of the Chapel.
God gave us all talents, some more than others in different areas. Why stifle them by not acknowledging them? So, instead, let's still have a $45,000 talent show and treat it like a Jr. High softball game; everyone's equal when Jesus is watching! After all, we wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings ...
Wouldn't you know it, they're changing it this year, much to the dismay of many, myself included. According to Cedars, "[Stephanie] Small [and] the 2008 Elliv committee want to eliminate the idea that the event is simply a popularity contest." Says Small, "We worked really hard to get a show that was for everyman, not just pointing out the popular kids but celebrating the year." In agreement with this, "Some awards have been changed, so instead of voting for the best campus artist or student athlete, students will have the opportunity to vote for their favorite piece of student artwork or the best athletic achievement."
"Oh, right," I said, turning to Caitlin. "Because God wants us to worship the trees instead of crediting the creator for his accomplishments."
Question. Is there something wrong with saying, "Wow, that was an amazing performance of Another Brick in the Wall. I say we give them Best Live Performance!"? Not to my knowledge. If someone does something truly spectacular, I don't think crediting them for it is a "popularity contest." And, honestly, wouldn't an award for Most Popular Student be a joke on a college campus. We're on a campus of nearly 3,500 students; anyone who sits in the balcony depressed over the fact that John Doe one Most Popular Student instead of themselves needs to be handed a band aid and shoved out of the Chapel.
God gave us all talents, some more than others in different areas. Why stifle them by not acknowledging them? So, instead, let's still have a $45,000 talent show and treat it like a Jr. High softball game; everyone's equal when Jesus is watching! After all, we wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings ...
My R.A. Is Canadian
02/24/08 04:51 PM Filed in: Academia
I was sitting in a
lounge when I got distracted by this girls shirt. It
said, "My R.A. Is Canadian."
Terrific. That's two marks against you. Not only are you wearing a shirt advertising your R.A. (I love you, Joe!), your R.A. is also Canadian ... why would you intentionally advertise this and be proud of it?
Apparently there's a "colony" of followers in Maddox; obviously, their R.A. is Canadian. I'm not sure why they're proud of this. I would have requested a room change between Semesters.
Terrific. That's two marks against you. Not only are you wearing a shirt advertising your R.A. (I love you, Joe!), your R.A. is also Canadian ... why would you intentionally advertise this and be proud of it?
Apparently there's a "colony" of followers in Maddox; obviously, their R.A. is Canadian. I'm not sure why they're proud of this. I would have requested a room change between Semesters.
Student Graders
02/23/08 02:15 PM Filed in: Academia
Student Graders have
recently become some of my least favorite people.
Now, I realize saying Student Graders are annoying is
like saying women are bad drivers. It's true; maybe
there are some good ones. But from what I've
observed, they hate me.
I just got a few papers back from my Spiritual Formation class. First, I would like to point out that the point of this class is to help you develop your spiritual life; it's not a composition class. Not only this, but my Professor has given no specifications for how your papers should properly be formatted, so taking me points off for poor spacing and formatting is ridiculous. Especially if the points you take off aren't because the spacing or formatting I choose to use is wrong, per se, it's just not to your liking.
I got four Reading Questions and one Reflections paper back today. Reading Questions are questions that my Professor has prepared, usually between eight and twelve, on the reading that is due for that day. We are supposed to answer the questions based upon what the reading says. Basically, they're questions to make sure we did the reading for Renovation of the Heart (Willard). The Reflections papers are our personal responses to the reading of Steering Through Chaos (Guinness). It's not a summary of the chapter, it's just our own thoughts and feelings about what we read (i.e. how can you get it wrong?). Three out of the four Reading Questions I got back I received a +10 on. One of them the grader gave me only a +9. Her reasoning for giving me a +9 instead of a +10 was some "improper" spacing on question six. I accidently hit enter one too many times. Oops! Had this been a composition class, I would have checked for that. As it is, shouldn't we be graded on how well we understood the reading?
The Reflections paper I also got a +9 on. How? Well, I used double-spaced paragraphs (like in my blog posts) instead of single-spaced-indented paragraphs. Nowhere is it specified what type of spacing to use. Also, my margins ... well, I don't know what I did wrong with the margins. She drew an arrow from the text to the side of the page and wrong "1" margin." What does that mean? The margins were 1", which is what they are by default. Is she saying they should be or shouldn't be? And why would I change the margins from Words default? I've never been docked for the default margin settings in any other class. Again, nothing is said about this in the Syllabus.
This wouldn't annoy me quite so much if I actually got docked points for the content of my papers. But I have to wonder, did she even read my reflections, or just look to see if it met her eyes approval? Maybe you think I'm overreacting, but let me inform you of one more thing I did to test this: It's also worth noting that, in one of the papers I got back today which I did receive a +10 on, I purposely completely made up two of the answers. Just to see if I would get points taken off. Guess what! I didn't! But apparently the formatting was OK for that paper.
Seriously, you guys get paid for this! The only Student Graders I actually like are the ones that help the Math Professors, and when I took DLD, that Student Grader was alright, but for the Bible classes I have yet to be impressed. I know, you guys get a lot of papers, but let me remind you, all of the papers I got back today were a single page. There's really no excuse for not being able to read one or two pages, especially if you're getting paid by the hour. Especially if someone else's grade depends on it.
Just to clear up any confusion, I'm actually not losing sleep over this, or even that mad, I just think it's silly :P. And I still love Cedarville. Just not some of their Student Graders :).
I just got a few papers back from my Spiritual Formation class. First, I would like to point out that the point of this class is to help you develop your spiritual life; it's not a composition class. Not only this, but my Professor has given no specifications for how your papers should properly be formatted, so taking me points off for poor spacing and formatting is ridiculous. Especially if the points you take off aren't because the spacing or formatting I choose to use is wrong, per se, it's just not to your liking.
I got four Reading Questions and one Reflections paper back today. Reading Questions are questions that my Professor has prepared, usually between eight and twelve, on the reading that is due for that day. We are supposed to answer the questions based upon what the reading says. Basically, they're questions to make sure we did the reading for Renovation of the Heart (Willard). The Reflections papers are our personal responses to the reading of Steering Through Chaos (Guinness). It's not a summary of the chapter, it's just our own thoughts and feelings about what we read (i.e. how can you get it wrong?). Three out of the four Reading Questions I got back I received a +10 on. One of them the grader gave me only a +9. Her reasoning for giving me a +9 instead of a +10 was some "improper" spacing on question six. I accidently hit enter one too many times. Oops! Had this been a composition class, I would have checked for that. As it is, shouldn't we be graded on how well we understood the reading?
The Reflections paper I also got a +9 on. How? Well, I used double-spaced paragraphs (like in my blog posts) instead of single-spaced-indented paragraphs. Nowhere is it specified what type of spacing to use. Also, my margins ... well, I don't know what I did wrong with the margins. She drew an arrow from the text to the side of the page and wrong "1" margin." What does that mean? The margins were 1", which is what they are by default. Is she saying they should be or shouldn't be? And why would I change the margins from Words default? I've never been docked for the default margin settings in any other class. Again, nothing is said about this in the Syllabus.
This wouldn't annoy me quite so much if I actually got docked points for the content of my papers. But I have to wonder, did she even read my reflections, or just look to see if it met her eyes approval? Maybe you think I'm overreacting, but let me inform you of one more thing I did to test this: It's also worth noting that, in one of the papers I got back today which I did receive a +10 on, I purposely completely made up two of the answers. Just to see if I would get points taken off. Guess what! I didn't! But apparently the formatting was OK for that paper.
Seriously, you guys get paid for this! The only Student Graders I actually like are the ones that help the Math Professors, and when I took DLD, that Student Grader was alright, but for the Bible classes I have yet to be impressed. I know, you guys get a lot of papers, but let me remind you, all of the papers I got back today were a single page. There's really no excuse for not being able to read one or two pages, especially if you're getting paid by the hour. Especially if someone else's grade depends on it.
Just to clear up any confusion, I'm actually not losing sleep over this, or even that mad, I just think it's silly :P. And I still love Cedarville. Just not some of their Student Graders :).
The Day That Bites
10/30/07 05:14 PM
It was all going good
and well until approximately 5 o-clock. We had even
attained FREE Tacos from Taco Bell (thanks to the Red
Sox doing something cool relating to Baseball and the
World Series ... whatever)!! However, when we were on
our way to the SSC, on our way to Chucks to stuff
ourselves even more (welcome to America), we saw a
LLAMA!!!! TWO llamas, actually. In front of the DMC.
We were amazed, so we took a picture.
We continued our journey to the SSC
to eat. Upon arriving at the SSC, we saw ANOTHER
LLAMA!!! I think it's a rare event to even see one
llama in or around a building in one day, but today
we saw THREE. And this final llama was actually IN
the SSC!! I whipped out my camera again and started
taking pictures.
Don't get me wrong, these llamas
were amazing. I loved seeing them in all of their
beauty. The part that bites is that Jenna is still
grounded from me, so I couldn't immediately send the
pictures to her and call her and tell her about my
rare sitings!!
This is the worst day ever ...
The Titanic, 2007
10/13/07 11:22 AM Filed in: Academia
I wandered my way over
to the SSC in hopes of putting my headphones in and
playing a game or two of pool with myself; however,
due to the large number of parents (and small
children) on the campus today, all pool tables were
and are currently occupied. And so, for the sake of
my beloved Grandpa (and others who keep griping about
this), I decided to finally report on the Canoe Race.
Originally, I had planned on writing this post and attaching descriptive pictures and a video of the race! Unfortunately, due in no part to the individuals manning (or womanning, in this case) the camera, all still photos and videos were lost. So it's actually going to be a bit hard to explain, but I'll do the best I can.
For all Freshman Engineering students at Cedarville University, we are required to build a cardboard canoe and race it across Cedar Lake on the Saturday of Homecoming weekend. Yes, this is part of our grade. It counts as roughly (if I remember correctly) half of the entire grade for (everyones FAVORITE class) The Engineering Profession. Essentially, the only real point of that class is this canoe race. But if you really want to know my opinions on that class, ask me personally and I'd love to vent about it.
I would also like to go off on a slight tangent here and point out that, after circling Cedar Lake multiple times within my first week of being on campus, I came to the conclusion that Cedar Lake is not actually a lake. It's a pond. In order to be a lake, it would have to have a fresh water source, be natural (usually), and be of "considerably size", according to Wikipedia (don't read this Professor Wheeler!). But there are signs all around the "lake" referring to it as "Cedar Lake". It's a pond. I'm sure of this. Ponds are small and man made. Cedar Lake is small and man made. But I digress ...
After receiving our instructions for the canoe race, each team was given a roll of cardboard and a roll of masking tape. That's all you get. I suppose that's why it's an Engineering project: You have to do all the measurements and calculations before making any cuts or you'll be sorry when you run out of material :).
We were all randomly assigned to groups of four. A video documentary was apparently filmed, so instead of actually trying to explain the construction process to you all, I'll just show you that sometime, if you're really interested. I'll just leave it at this: After putting close to, if not more than, twenty hours into our cardboard canoe in the evenings, we finally made her seaworthy.
We named our canoe the Titanic. Across the side, we wrote this in large letters. On the opposite side of the canoe we wrote, "NOTHING LESS THAN GOD CAN SINK US."
My FAVORITE part of the construction part was when we had just taped together the structure for the base of the canoe. We were in the Marshall lounge when the door burst open and three taller guys came strutting in. Chins high. Clearly, these were UPPERclassmen Engineers! There were about four groups in the lounge assembling their canoes, and I could just sense the wealth of knowledge that flowed into the room with these three. They strolled by each of the canoes, glancing down at them with a sort of, "Yah, I did that once ... ours looked better," glance. You know what I mean, right? Until, of course, they came to our canoe. They stopped and looked at our canoe and one grunted, "Ha, that won't float." A bit confused and set back, I wasn't sure how to react. So I just dropped the obligatory, "Uuuuuh ..." To which he replied, to his friends, not me, "Their base is too wide. It'll be one of the first ones to sink." They all nodded in agreement and, seeming content with their derogatory comments, they moved on and left the lounge.
I had the strong urge to punch a wall, but all of the walls in the Marshall lounge are made of cement, and that seemed like it wouldn't be one of my smarter ideas. So instead I just clenched my fists and teeth tightly, which the dentist has told me is bad since I broke a tooth doing that once and had to get it pulled. But I couldn't really help it. After passing these words of kindness onto my group, I said, "We're going to get across the lake guys. Let's do this!"
We finished our canoe. We were the third team into the water (Team 6)! The gun fired and Drew and I started paddling furiously.
I have yet to see those three again, and I probably wouldn't remember what they looked like anyway if I did see them again. But I hope they were at the race and remembered that our canoe was the one they said wouldn't even float. Fact: Our canoe made it across the lake. Fact: Since our canoe was wider than every other canoe, it actually floated HIGHER (it's amazing, the math behind that ...). Fact: Our team came in SECOND, overall.
Eat that.
It was a fun experience. But I think the best part about it was proving those three wrong. That was the most pleasurable part of the entire experience!
Originally, I had planned on writing this post and attaching descriptive pictures and a video of the race! Unfortunately, due in no part to the individuals manning (or womanning, in this case) the camera, all still photos and videos were lost. So it's actually going to be a bit hard to explain, but I'll do the best I can.
For all Freshman Engineering students at Cedarville University, we are required to build a cardboard canoe and race it across Cedar Lake on the Saturday of Homecoming weekend. Yes, this is part of our grade. It counts as roughly (if I remember correctly) half of the entire grade for (everyones FAVORITE class) The Engineering Profession. Essentially, the only real point of that class is this canoe race. But if you really want to know my opinions on that class, ask me personally and I'd love to vent about it.
I would also like to go off on a slight tangent here and point out that, after circling Cedar Lake multiple times within my first week of being on campus, I came to the conclusion that Cedar Lake is not actually a lake. It's a pond. In order to be a lake, it would have to have a fresh water source, be natural (usually), and be of "considerably size", according to Wikipedia (don't read this Professor Wheeler!). But there are signs all around the "lake" referring to it as "Cedar Lake". It's a pond. I'm sure of this. Ponds are small and man made. Cedar Lake is small and man made. But I digress ...
After receiving our instructions for the canoe race, each team was given a roll of cardboard and a roll of masking tape. That's all you get. I suppose that's why it's an Engineering project: You have to do all the measurements and calculations before making any cuts or you'll be sorry when you run out of material :).
We were all randomly assigned to groups of four. A video documentary was apparently filmed, so instead of actually trying to explain the construction process to you all, I'll just show you that sometime, if you're really interested. I'll just leave it at this: After putting close to, if not more than, twenty hours into our cardboard canoe in the evenings, we finally made her seaworthy.
We named our canoe the Titanic. Across the side, we wrote this in large letters. On the opposite side of the canoe we wrote, "NOTHING LESS THAN GOD CAN SINK US."
My FAVORITE part of the construction part was when we had just taped together the structure for the base of the canoe. We were in the Marshall lounge when the door burst open and three taller guys came strutting in. Chins high. Clearly, these were UPPERclassmen Engineers! There were about four groups in the lounge assembling their canoes, and I could just sense the wealth of knowledge that flowed into the room with these three. They strolled by each of the canoes, glancing down at them with a sort of, "Yah, I did that once ... ours looked better," glance. You know what I mean, right? Until, of course, they came to our canoe. They stopped and looked at our canoe and one grunted, "Ha, that won't float." A bit confused and set back, I wasn't sure how to react. So I just dropped the obligatory, "Uuuuuh ..." To which he replied, to his friends, not me, "Their base is too wide. It'll be one of the first ones to sink." They all nodded in agreement and, seeming content with their derogatory comments, they moved on and left the lounge.
I had the strong urge to punch a wall, but all of the walls in the Marshall lounge are made of cement, and that seemed like it wouldn't be one of my smarter ideas. So instead I just clenched my fists and teeth tightly, which the dentist has told me is bad since I broke a tooth doing that once and had to get it pulled. But I couldn't really help it. After passing these words of kindness onto my group, I said, "We're going to get across the lake guys. Let's do this!"
We finished our canoe. We were the third team into the water (Team 6)! The gun fired and Drew and I started paddling furiously.
I have yet to see those three again, and I probably wouldn't remember what they looked like anyway if I did see them again. But I hope they were at the race and remembered that our canoe was the one they said wouldn't even float. Fact: Our canoe made it across the lake. Fact: Since our canoe was wider than every other canoe, it actually floated HIGHER (it's amazing, the math behind that ...). Fact: Our team came in SECOND, overall.
Eat that.
It was a fun experience. But I think the best part about it was proving those three wrong. That was the most pleasurable part of the entire experience!