Dead Man
There's A Dead Man In My Front Yard
07/05/08 10:51 PM Filed in: Stories
It’s true; I’m not even
joking. There literally is a dead man in my front
yard. It’s the strangest thing.
It all started a few weeks ago when he started emerging from the ground. His head was above ground just enough for it ot make a ruccus when we mowed. It was alright for a while, but Dad got a bit fed up. The dead man kept rising further and further out of the ground, thus giving a harder blow to our fine mower. Not to mention the dead man ... But he’s dead, so what does he care?
This weekend Dad decided to take action. We went over to Randy’s (my neighbor) to borrow an extension cord, ran the line clear from the house to my front yard, and took a hand saw with us. We dug up around the dead man and pulled him as far up as we could. Then Dad started to saw off his head, which ended up being a bit more difficult than we had originally anticipated; the saw kept kicking back, very nearly slicing my and/or Dad’s finger off. Finally, the head just fell off. We shoved the remainder of the body as far into the ground as we could and put dirt back over it. I don’t think it will push it’s way back through the dirt and hit the mower blade again ... At least, I hope not.
I’m not sure if our front yard was an old cemetary and my house was the church or what, but it’s a bit awkward having a dead man rising out of your own front yard.
For those of you who are completely confused and have believed this post, a “dead man” is an metal achor for a power pole to give back pressure so the pole isn’t pulled over by the power cables tension. Probably there used to be power lines running through my front yard.
It all started a few weeks ago when he started emerging from the ground. His head was above ground just enough for it ot make a ruccus when we mowed. It was alright for a while, but Dad got a bit fed up. The dead man kept rising further and further out of the ground, thus giving a harder blow to our fine mower. Not to mention the dead man ... But he’s dead, so what does he care?
This weekend Dad decided to take action. We went over to Randy’s (my neighbor) to borrow an extension cord, ran the line clear from the house to my front yard, and took a hand saw with us. We dug up around the dead man and pulled him as far up as we could. Then Dad started to saw off his head, which ended up being a bit more difficult than we had originally anticipated; the saw kept kicking back, very nearly slicing my and/or Dad’s finger off. Finally, the head just fell off. We shoved the remainder of the body as far into the ground as we could and put dirt back over it. I don’t think it will push it’s way back through the dirt and hit the mower blade again ... At least, I hope not.
I’m not sure if our front yard was an old cemetary and my house was the church or what, but it’s a bit awkward having a dead man rising out of your own front yard.
For those of you who are completely confused and have believed this post, a “dead man” is an metal achor for a power pole to give back pressure so the pole isn’t pulled over by the power cables tension. Probably there used to be power lines running through my front yard.
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